I hate dogs. Especially the one that lives with my wife and me.
He forces me to throw his toys for him every morning. Sometimes he brings them back to throw again and other times he just walks off and does his own thing with them. Sheesh!
He also makes me pick him up every morning and hold him in my arms so he can snuggle me as the sun comes up.
I hate that!

And every night, before he goes to bed, he lays on my chest and stares into my eyes until I give him a treat. Always trying to get his own way.
He also comes to me whenever he is scared or sick or in pain so I can hold him until he feels safe.
What a selfish jerk!

And during the day he carefully hides his toys under the blanket on my side of the bed! So when I go to bed at night I have to move a large rawhide bone (that he's been chewing on for the last 5 years), a red rubber duck with devil horns, an old green tennis ball and a dead bird (we just call it 'dead bird' cause it looks like one).
But the worst thing is whenever I'm not home or I have to work late he starts making the moves on my wife. He tries to be the man of the house when I'm not there.
Look! Here he is taking my wife out to dinner while I'm stuck here at work!
What a backstabbing asshole!

Anyway, not sure why other people like dogs so much because I sure don't.

UPDATE 1:
Recently I spent about an hour looking in a pet store window pondering how much I dislike dogs, especially puppies, when this little white beanbag filled with poo started staring at me.

Not sure why, I guess she must have cast some kind of spell on me, but I bought her and took her home.

And now this new dog who we have named Bianca insists on watching movies with me but always falls asleep (except during the parts where there are other dogs on the screen) and then I have to explain the plot to her when she wakes up.
Pretty annoying when people do this let alone dogs.

She has also tricked our other dog into falling in love with her so now they gang up on me as a team. It might be kind of hard to tell but in the photo below Bianca is getting ready to attack me.

But most of the time Bianca just looks like this.
What a waste of space!

UPDATE 2:

Thanks for all the upvotes. Hopefully my hard-earned lessons in dealing with dogs will help others who are about to make the mistake of bringing one of these “companions” into their home.