After 8 years of physical, mental, emotional and verbal abuse, I can say from experience that as beautiful as forgiveness can be, they don't deserve an inch of it . The lifelong issues I now live with everyday as a result of the abuse I've endured are sometimes almost too much to deal with some days, yet forgiving him multiple times over the years, while I continued to suffer, I watched him live carefree, guilt free and happily — not once did he consider my forgiveness as the gift it was, not once did he ever try to change his behaviour towards me, and not once did the abuse ever stop. All it did was boost his narcissistic ego, allowing him to think his actions, no matter how horrible, could always be forgiven, or in his mind “gotten away with.”

You can try to forgive your abuser if it is a healthy way for you to find inner peace. But please keep in mind, most abusers don't change, a lot of the times the abuse just gets worse, like in my case.

If you do choose forgiveness, make sure it's for your goodness, not theirs.

I hope you've found peace, happiness and safety. I'm still searching for mine.