I find that often we would like to be more vocal in valuing our system members, understanding their struggles, and appreciating their eff...

Personal experiences and reflections by those who identify as multiple.

Plural Life: Unknown Systems 🤯 · Updated 1y ·

I find that often we would like to be more vocal in valuing our system members, understanding their struggles, and appreciating their efforts and successes. I will answer this question too as we find some of our members progressed incredibly well recently. Is there someone that you would especially like to validate in your inner fam because their hard work have stood out and you are proud of them? This is about recognition, let the appreciation begin 💜

We have been going through a period of intense instability, and that is why we want to validate the efforts of some of our members. Memories have been flooding in for some of our youngest. We found quite a few “new” littles and middles, and have been trying to keep a semblance of normality while dealing with the internal turmoil.

Everybody has been soldiering on, so to speak, despite the difficulties, and that alone is a reason to be proud of each and everyone.

One of our members, however, had more difficulties than the others.

They are a teen, and they are one of our major trauma holders. They come in many versions from a few months old to around 15 year old. Most the the new littles we found were young “copies” of them, all with just fragments of memories.

This was understandably difficult. Those memories were … very painful on many levels … not just the factual memories, but the associated kinesthetic and emotional reminders were making denial of those events impossible.

Yet, they stuck with it. They went around our mindspace, meeting all the other versions of themselves and soothing them and supporting them. They now decided that they want to create their own system just made up of their own selves. And now they have accepted and begun telling their story.

We, as system, have tried to be as supportive as possible. But we don’t yet share their feelings or memories, we only know the story that they told us. So, we have been feeling a little inadequate. We do get intense bouts of emotions that enable us to understand, but these are very brief and very occasional bursts.

We are also lucky that we have some friends outside our systems who are systems themselves, so we can share experiences and opinions quite extensively. Our young was not entirely alone.

But their efforts are to us simply amazing. We often have problems communicating between subsystems. We try and use a diary, but while everybody writes in it, nobody reads it. Quora is usually our best option to let others know how we feel, what we think, and to share the more intricate types of communication that cannot be expressed simply by sharing gut feelings.

So, we’d like to take this opportunity to say to our inner hero, we love you and we are very proud of you! Your mental and emotional maturity is an inspiration to us all. 💜