I once was in a friend’s wedding up in Pennsylvania and was there for 4 days. Went to the rehearsal dinner and all that.

There was a friend of the bride’s who was a bridesmaid that I really hit it off with instantly. The attraction was pretty obvious so we quickly became the subject of swapped glances and not so subtle innuendo from the rest of the wedding party.

I was leaving the day after the wedding and was staying at my buddy’s mom’s house. Once the ceremony was over and the couple had gone off for their honeymoon, this gal asks what I’m doing the rest of the evening and, long story short, we end up back at her apartment. She shows me around and everything looks cool, lived-in but tidy, some interesting art and books and records, and then I see the bedroom.

This gal has the most massive stuffed animal collection I have ever seen. She had shelves built for them all around her bedroom on every wall. There were little beanie baby type critters along the floor, then a shelf of teddy bear sized ones above them, then oversized ones on a shelf above that, and then like half a dozen actual life size animals suspended from the ceiling with fishing line. It was pretty much that, a bed, and a nightstand and nothing else in the room.

All she said was “This is the bedroom” and I said “Cool!” and we walked out. I was just so surprised, and had only known this gal for a couple of days, I had no idea what to say and, seeing as I was in her apartment, didn’t want to risk saying the wrong thing. I mean, what do you say to that?

Anyway, we sit out on the balcony and have a couple of beers and at a certain point I say I’d better be getting back because I have to head out in the morning and she says “Y’know you probably shouldn’t drive back right now. Why don’t you stick around another hour and let those beers settle.” So I call my host and tell her I’ll be in a little late and she says she’ll leave a key out.

Then my new friend tells me she knows a great way to burn alcohol out of your system and starts to kiss me. Doesn’t take us long til we’re back there with all the teddy bears. So an hour or so later, I tell her I hate to have to bolt but I really do need to go but I had a great time, she was wonderful.

She looked at me and thought for a second and said, “You can take any prize from the bottom shelf.”