I spent a good 10 years of my life trying to straighten my curly hair, only to have it dry and damaged from all the heat. I wanted to look pretty, to look just like the rest of the girls with silk straight hair. It’s funny how badly I wanted to sport straight hair that I completely missed the part where I was damaging the very same hair I wanted to look pretty. And boy, there’s nothing pretty about damaged hair.

Even when I had them straightened, I received criticisms with regard to my hair. The worst being, “your hair looks like my pubic hair”. That hurt me so much I locked myself for days. I felt like death when I had to go out and meet people. I really wanted out.

Years of straightening my hair finally took a toll on me. I woke up one day and decided, enough is enough. I had contemplated it for the longest time, but I finally found the courage to do it. I shaved my hair off.

The transition was anything but easy. I struggled every other day. And I realised that I could shave my hair off, but they’d grow back. And then what? It was about time, I told myself. I needed to love myself. I needed to respect myself. “Embrace your curls Fash!” I told myself every morning.

That was five years ago. Now my hair is fully back, and I keep them short so it’s easier for me to manage. I know whats good and whats not for my hair, and I take no offense when someone has anything bad to say. And guess what? Nobody has anything bad to say! At least not to my face.

Once in blue moon I’d straighten my hair. But most of the time I just let them bounce. Acceptance is a big word. And I plan to stay committed to it.

So my answer to this question?

Neither.

The fact we have hair at all. Wear your hair however you like it, but remember to nourish them and take good care of them. Love them as they are, embrace every strand of your hair. Nothing spells beauty like confidence does. Curls, straight, shaved, bald.

I say, love it and own it!

—— edit:

Thank you all for the love and kind comments! I posted this 3 years ago, and I’m surprised to see the support and love! Especially from the curly hair community. It’s safe to say we’re all in this together.

While I did say I’d keep my curly hair short, I’ve decided to let it grow! And today I’m happy to say I’m wearing my hair like a crown.

This is my hair with all its frizziness and I love it anyway. If you’re reading this and you need a sign, this is it. Embrace your natural hair, let it grow. Trust the process!

The process:

Thank you for reading!