Bright white teeth.

Name any celebrity. Anyone.

There’s a good chance they have perfect teeth. Perfect teeth imply wealth, health, luxury. Things we as humans are unconsciously drawn to.

My teeth are not bright white, despite dozens of whitening toothpastes and mouthwashes. I doubt they will ever be, unless I can afford to shell out for professional whitening.

I know white teeth aren’t usually natural. I know it’s irrational for me to want teeth whiter than my eyeballs.

But I don’t drink coffee or black tea or wine. I don’t smoke. I brush my teeth three times a day. I feel like I should get something out of it.

My teeth aren’t yellow, either; they’re pretty average, as teeth go. However, coupled with me being very pale, they’re not too far off my skin tone. Oof.

This little insecurity doesn’t stop me from smiling. I still think I’m cute. I don’t, consciously or unconsciously, devalue myself as a person because of my offwhite teeth.

But it does bother me, if only a little bit.