I lost my 35-year-old, soulmate husband unexpectedly on Memorial Day morning. I had gotten up to find him on the driveway of our home and had tried to revive him while waiting for EMS but it was too late. He had had a gran mal seizure and had what the medical examiner ruled a “Terminal Event” and was taken from me and his daughter that idolized him, that day. Needless to say, it was a horrible, traumatic day such that I wondered if I would ever be able to get out of bed again.

After several months I had decided to try to return to work when I was met by a co-worker who hugged me and asked how I was and said she was so happy to see me. She then said to me “My family and I have been praying hard to you. We have been praying that you will get cancer really soon so you can be with him because we know how much you love him.” I stood there dumbfounded with the hideousness of that statement. She then handed me a CD she had made for me (that I only played years later out of curiosity) that was full of the most tragic and mournful music I ever heard. I made it through about two hours at work that day but then went home and did not return for several more months. What little bit of healing had been shattered by that comment. When I did finally return, I avoided her like the plague. She was just one of many wholly inappropriate comments made by those who I thought cared for me.

People! Pleasssssssssse just give those new to loss, a hug and tell them you are sorry for their loss. Deem anything else inappropriate.

EDIT: Thanks so much for all of the support. I really do appreciate it.

This woman became famous at work for her strange replies to many things so I came to feel it wasn’t personal. Some examples: She stated it would have been much better if Elizabeth Smart had died instead of being found, because now she was “sullied and would never be wanted or accepted by people again.” She also came in one day telling everyone that her 14 year old daughter had “caught scabies” from holding hands with her boyfriend. The odd thing was she acted proud of it.

Like my granddad used to say ”takes all kinds”.