I had a match on the dating site Bumble send me a first message that read, “I’m just curious what makes a guy like you think a girl like me would be interested in you?”

I figured she wanted an honest answer and felt compelled to give her the truth. It took a lot of guts to ask that question.

“Well, I generally go for 10s,” I responded. “But the arrogance of really beautiful girls has become trite. I decided to come play in the shallow end of the pool a while and hopefully meet someone with a great personality. I looked at your profile and figured I could get around the extra chin, big nose, eyes too close together and bad hair. I assumed you would be interested in me because I’m the most honest person you will meet. You said you were looking for someone ‘totally honest’.”

“You are delusional,” she responded. “A girl like me would never date a guy like you. You are hideous! Your (sic)gross. I can do way better than you.”

“Then why are you on a dating app matching with me?” I asked.

For brevity, I will spare you her response. It was riddled with expletives and failed to form a coherent thought. I did gather from it that she considered herself a 10 and me an “old ugly fat asshole.”

Apparently my veracity was interpreted as rude. Totally unintentional on my part.

We really need a sarcastic font!