I came close to marrying someone who is now a billionaire.

He was only worth a few hundred million while we were a couple, he is now a billionaire. I was the one who broke off our relationship. He had the red Ferrari. We ate at the finest restaurants in San Francisco. We went to evening soirees filled with intellectual topics and banter with some of Silicon Valley’s top venture capitalists who are also now billionaires. I was friends with people who if I name dropped, you would recognize a dozen high tech movers and shakers. When he bought me gifts, I had to research the label because the brand name would be so high end and exclusive I would not recognize it. I ended the relationship because he was looking for a new home to buy and wanted to involve me in the search. After looking at many homes with him I realized that although I loved and respected him, he was a wonderful man, I could not see spending my life with him.

Do I miss that exciting, luxurious, intellectually stimulating life to which he introduced me and which we lived the years we were committed to each other?

Sometimes, a little. But generally, no.

It is trite to say money does not buy happiness but that fact is astoundingly true as long as you have your needs (i.e. food, shelter, health, love, and companionship) are met. Research studies have repeatedly shown that once those human needs are met, additional money with its stuff and travels does not buy you additional happiness. You can google “research on money and happiness” and find a number of news articles. Here are research articles if you want to read in more detail: “High income improves evaluation of life but not emotional well-being” and “Money Giveth, Money Taketh Away: The Dual Effect of Wealth on Happiness” http://pss.sagepub.com/content/21/6/759.full.pdf+html?ijkey=e5576cc1a2a38f8b7af502dd17c6ee03bc5dc345&keytype2=tf_ipsecsha

I have a life partner who, although brilliant like my previous billionaire boyfriend, has experienced some unfortunate life circumstances so he is, let’s just say, the opposite of a billionaire. But my partner, while he lacks money to live lavishly, has a palette for wine that is enviable. He loves to kiss me throughout the day, and hold my hand in public. He pulls me close to him when watching a movie. My friends comment how connected and engaged he is when they talk to him. He actually asks questions and authentically listens to them. He connects easily and deeply with people. While his finances aren’t deep, his heart and caring is deep. He loves his children and has them about half the time. He spends more time being involved in their lives, their cares, and their schoolwork than any dad I know. He is constantly thinking of fun things to do to keep the bonds close including hiking, playing games, watching movies together, or searching out the best ice cream in all of San Francisco. How many dads never miss a concert or a volleyball game? He is there for all the life events of these young people. As a result, he has exceptionally warm, mature, playful, intelligent, creative, and confident children whom I have grown to love deeply.

Food tastes better with my non-billionaire partner than with my previous billionaire boyfriend. When you have money flowing everywhere, you take things for granted and lose some appreciation of the privileged meal you are eating or astronomically expensive wine you are drinking. At least I did. You can say I became a bit spoiled. And, to me, spoiled is not a virtue. Being spoiled spoils life. Sometimes food is not perfect enough. Or wine special enough. Or the luxury hotel room grand enough. You want things perfect, because there is money flowing everywhere so life should be bought to make it perfect. Life can be bought, right? So when life doesn’t cooperate and isn’t bought, when the circumstance don’t meet your expectations and let you down, then that little spoiled kid in your brain pouts and feels sorry for herself. I’m not just admitting it was an ugly part in me I discovered, I saw it in many of the extremely rich I was socializing with then.

So that lifestyle, with its latent disappointments and embedded restlessness, is something I eventually left. I have stumbled on another path that have given me so much more richness. More love, more bonding, more closeness, more warmth, more laughs, more depth, more communication, more talking about mundane things, while still trying to discuss how to save the world, and hopefully even taking some action - in your own if little way – to make the world better. That richer path perhaps found me because I was willing to leave what everyone is trying to so desperately to get…. money. (Which happens to be a big topic of interest I noticed here on Quora.)

I have learned money cannot and does not buy life. Life is a tad stubborn and refuses to cooperate and be bought.

But there is much that money can’t buy, that is readily available, and which can make you one of the richest people alive.

I am grateful I was the partner of someone so exceedingly wealthy (as well as influential on a world class scale) to give me that tremendous and unusual life experience. And to realize that very life experience wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.