We got taken to lawn court.

When we bought our very first home, we weren’t prepared for the crazy that comes with living in a home owner’s association (HOA) development. Our houses were townhouses and part of the HOA fee included all lawn care. Great! One less thing to worry about.

The townhouse we were buying didn’t have a front lawn, though. It was all bushes and flowers.

We showed up to closing for the house and learned that the current (soon to be previous) owners had taken out the grass and put in bushes and flowers without permission of the HOA. As such, they presented us with a check for $1500 to redo the postage stamp size lawn in exchange for them being able to just walk away.

So, as soon as we moved in, we met our neighbor Mario and Mrs. Mario (I can never remember her name, but his is his real name). Mario loved his lawn. He loved his lawn so, so, so much. He was out working on his lawn every single day—this lawn was maybe 10 feet by 5 feet. But it was green and lush and perfect.

Mario hated that our “lawn area” was covered in bushes, and he was the one who had ratted out the previous owners.

We learned that the only reason the previous owners had put in bushes was to get Mario to stop harassing them about the state of their lawn. The previous owners were happy to let the HOA take care of the lawn and that was unacceptable to Mario.

Mario’s dream was that we make our lawn identical to his and that we spend the same amount of time on this patch of green as he did.

Our dream was to let the HOA take care of it and never have to worry about it.

Mario let us know, in no uncertain terms, that the only acceptable result was his dream and bushes and flowers were certainly of the devil.

So, after living there for about a month, we went to lawn court. Turns out that the HOA board had no love for Mario. They were tired of his constant complaining. However. the HOA rules were clear—there must be a strip of grass between the bushes and the sidewalk to keep mulch from getting onto the sidewalk.

We asked if we could just put in a small amount of grass and keep 75 percent of the bushes. They said, of course!

So we spent about $200 on dirt and grass to come into compliance, and came out ahead on the professional landscaping money we’d received in closing.

Mario was furious. He complained to the HOA again. They informed him that we had their permission.

He made it his mission to spy on us. Any time we were outside, he or Mrs. Mario would open their front door and then stand flat against the wall—thinking we couldn’t see them—so they could hear what we were saying.

We talked loudly about our plans for our yard. Pirate flags, flamingos, bigger, more obnoxious bushes. In reality, we watered our bushes and let the HOA mow and fertilize the grass.

It was fun watching them get so angry at not being able to control us or our lawn. They moved a couple of years later, and we were not sorry to see them go.