1. Extreme manipulation. They will try to make you feel bad for them, make you feel good and then put you down according to “where they want you” emotionally. They will exploit your weaknesses so they know exactly how to work the rollercoaster of your emotions. They will make you think they are something they’re not, and never will be. They will seem like they are very sensitive at times, but this is a mask.
2. Controlling. These people always need to be the ones in the driver’s seat. Whether it’s with a lover, or a stranger, or their friends and family, they need to be the ones calling the shots.
3. No real accountability. These people may apologize if they feel like they are losing control of you, but they do not mean it. They do not actually think anything is their fault, and do not feel genuine remorse. If you get an apology, it’s only so they can regain the sense of security that they still have you.
4. Playing the victim. These people will turn the tables on you so quickly it will make your head spin. You can be pointing out something they did wrong, and before you know it, they have convinced you that YOU are the person that was mean or abusive and want an apology. Sometimes you’re left scratching your head as to how they did it, sometimes they’re not that good at it or they are blatantly wrong, but you still feel bad somehow because they make you think they believe what they’re saying is their truth. They also feel like the world is against them. Didn’t get that job or promotion? It isn’t their fault, it’s the bosses fault for being an asshole, not because they didn’t work hard enough.
5. No stability. They often are not able to hold a job down for long, or a relationship, or stay in one place for an extended period of time. This might not be true of all narcissists, it depends where they feel like they are in “the game” and what “level” they are at. It’s all about image and what they have at the moment. But they either get bored, fired, dumped, exposed; when this happens they move on to the next person or thing. Everything and anyone is disposable when it/the person no longer serves a purpose or make the narcissist happy. And then I couldn’t leave this one out… here’s #6:
6. Lack of emotion for others. This is actually a huge one but difficult to detect. You really have to pay attention, because they do show a range of emotions, but it is not for others it is for themselves. So if you’re crying, they are able to cry and might genuinely be sad about something, but it is related to THEM. They might be thinking of something in the past or present that makes them sad, but it is an “injustice” that happened to them, not you. If you’re happy about something and they want to show they are supportive, again they might be happy but it’s not empathy. These people don’t have empathy or sympathy. If a friend loses a parent or loved one for example, they cannot actually feel bad for the person but will seem like they genuinely care.

There are obviously more traits, but I think these are the top six that applied to my relationship.