Oh man, do I have an answer for this one...

A little over two years ago now, my wife was pregnant with our soon-to-be daughter. We had done everything right up to that point: we found a natural birthing center, did the visits, the ultrasounds, took all of the advice... basically, did everything in our power to be prepared for the big day, aside from learning how to deliver a baby.

Leading up to the day, we had a pretty good idea of her due date and everything up until then had been right on schedule. We learned that, because of some weird law, that if our daughter wasn't born by the "deadline" the state gave us, we wouldn't be able to have a natural birth, which we had planned with the birthing center in a beautiful room with the tub and everything. We'd have to go to the hospital which neither of us wanted, especially mama.

They gave us some advice on how to "move things along" naturally. Basically, ingesting castor oil stimulates the same process as delivering a baby. Good to know, right? At that point we were essentially planning the day of her birth pretty accurately, so we were on call with our midwife that day.

The plan was to head over to the birthing center when my wife was experiencing contractions, get set up, and let the birth play out. Easy, right?

Well... life has a funny way of not giving a &*%$ about your plans. For starters, new moms don't know what contractions feel like until... they are having them. A neat little nugget of information for the spouses out there: there is a stage called transition that occurs during the final stages of labor, and it boils down to THE BABY IS READY TO DESCEND! We'll come back to this shortly.

All of that happened so fast, it’s a blur. We went from watching Ghost Adventures (mama's go-to show during pregnancy) to her clutching my arm, making noises I've never heard her (or anything) make before. Naturally, I calmly (freaking out inside) get on the phone with our midwife and say it's go time. We're thinking this is early labor and we've got time to get the stuff in the car and head down there (about a 15 minute drive). This could last for hours, right?

NOPE.

Mama takes one step down the stairs and is already doubting her ability to leave. We hurry back in and the only place she's comfortable is on the toilet. Once again, I give our midwife a call and she says it's fine, they are on the way to our house. People have home births all the time, just sit tight and comfort mama. No problem... right?

NOPE!

During the call, mama asks "can i get in the tub?" Midwife gives the go ahead so I fill up a nice warm tub and in mama goes. I'm on the phone with the midwife still, trying to help her with directions (in hindsight, they should have had one trip to our house... but we had planned on going to their birthing center). Our driveway can be a bit tricky to find. They are about 10 minutes out when mama says something I will never forget - "I feel hair!"

Turns out we weren't in early labor. Turns out my wife has a huge pain tolerance and basically shrugged off contractions until it was legitimately time to give birth. You hear horror stories of people in labor for hours upon hours, stuck in an uncomfortable hospital bed. This is a blessing, right? Bing bang boom, we’ll be done in no time.

Only freaking problem is there is no one there to deliver the baby!

I decide to take a look. so, she feels hair. Oh yeah? WELL, I SEE A FREAKING FACE LOOKING AT ME!

Our daughter was determined to make her entrance so I (literally) rolled up my sleeves and calmly asked the midwife "WHAT THE ^%$& DO I DO?!" over the phone. Like a true professional, she guides me through the process, and VOILA! I deliver my own daughter from my beautiful wife and lovingly deposit her into mama's arms.

They showed up 5 minutes later and took over. The rest is history.

Did the bathroom look like the red wedding afterward? Sure. Revolting, though? No freaking way. It was the most amazing, wonderful, AWESOME experience I've ever had in my life and a freaking incredible story. My wife showed such amazing strength and courage during a time when neither of us had any idea what to do. If you knew us, you'd know we are pretty laid back and typically avoid ALL stressful situations, so this was our moment to shine.

In addition, my baby delivering success rate is 100%!