Wait until after the apology, and watch what they do.

A truly remorseful or guilty person will take action, after the apology, to ensure it never happens again.

They will go “above and beyond,” to make it right…. this won’t just be temporary - it will last.

It’s not just a bit of flowers to make you feel better - it is someone motivated to make a change in themselves.

They strive to be better in this area *every single day* and to not let this happen again.

So Ultimately? Right away, a person *never knows* if someone feels truly guilty for hurting them…you can’t know how someone feels immediately.

Just take a step back, and watch what they do.

It will give you all the information you need.

There are basically two types of people. First one, they will straight up apologize to you because they felt guilty of hurting your feelings, but the second one, they just won’t, because they’re most likely afraid to admit their mistakes. But that don’t mean that they don’t feel guilty about it.

So I would like to emphasize more on the second one, because we tend to misread them due to their unwillingness to be vulnerable and completely transparent with you.

There are hundreds of reasons why they should apologize, but some people aren’t that open with emotions like this. Some are egoistical, some are just grossed out by people because of how easily they get offended, some are disappointed and mad at themselves for constantly making people upset, so by stop apologizing too much, they won’t constantly haunted by the thoughts of them being hurtful to people, and some just don’t care, because they didn’t even know that they’ve hurt you in the very beginning.

But by ignoring the last one, there’s always a way or two, a clue in the mystery, that we can find to know if they do feel guilty toward us.

They can lie with words, but not with body language. Look through their eyes, see how they communicate, if they’ve been strange to you lately probably something is bothering them. They communicate more often than usual, just seems like they are trying to win back your heart and make it up to you. It’s like they are trying to say sorry but, not with words.

They can also talk less, and very awkward with you. Because, deep down they know that they’ve hurt you and the guilt they have, make it hard for them to be themselves and pretend it is a normal day. Cuz it is not.

They’ll be much nicer to you. Because they know that they are guilty. Hoping that you will heal again, without attempting to apologize to you.

I'm struggling with this question.

If someone hurts me, looking for hints that they care about the hurt they caused seems weird. It seems to me that there are 4 potential ways they could feel about hurting someone else:

1. Ashamed
2. Guilty (not the same as shame)
3. Indifferent
4. Powerful

If people feel shame, they internalize the hurt they've caused someone else and consider themselves as flawed people for causing it. They may apologize in such a way as to create further emotional turmoil so they can take the opportunity to turn themselves into the victim or completely avoid you. They may make up stories about why they did what they did. They may even believe those stories. Shame isn't healthy, people in shame feel powerless and incapable of remedying the situation and unworthy.

People experiencing guilt can separate their mistakes from their self worth. They will seek to apologize, right the wrong and repair the relationship if they are in the wrong, or if they're not in the wrong but have rejected someone (for a date or something), may seek to avoid or in some way soften the hurt for the person who has been hurt. They'll balance their part with the other persons and seek a positive resolution.

Indifferent. They may not know or care that you've been hurt. Generally, this means they will carry on as usual. Indifference also means they might know they caused a bit of hurt, but be unaware of how much and they will tend just to want to get past the situation without calling too much attention to it.

Then there are people who get off on hurting others. They will make digs, references, keep bringing it up, tell everyone they know and generally prolong the hurt in any way they can. Avoid these people especially.

It doesn't really matter if someone feels guilty or not for hurting you. What matters is how they choose to deal with that situation. It says a lot about 1. Their own integrity and character, and 2. The value they place on you. For me, directly dealing with it for a positive outcome wherever possible is the only correct approach. The next best thing is to try and just get past it without dwelling on it. How people feel ultimately matters far less to me than what they choose to DO.

I wish I could answer this question. I’m not sure that anyone I know has ever felt guilty for hurting me. Most times, they act like they did nothing wrong, and when I try to discuss it with them, they are either defensive or dismissive. There has been maybe four times where I got the feeling someone maybe felt bad about what they said to me, but each case was different, and I never got an apology. Meanwhile, I can never feel right until I have apologized for something crappy I have said or done. Then, I am still punished. What can you do? I have reached the point where I have distanced myself from most people. It’s sad, but preferable for me. My life is much more peaceful.

Well they tend to look sad and their movements and their whole demeanour is slower, preoccupied and silent. Usually it's because they have finally realised they are in the wrong, and can't believe it and want to hide away. In other words they are consumed with themselves- instead of trying to make reparations, and put right any hurtful wrongs they did that may be very serious to the person that they have hurt. If they don't then they are cowards and are to be avoided at all costs, because the danger of them hurting you again is increased as they have got away with it - in their eyes.

Judas was like that. He was consumed with himself for having betrayed Jesus. He couldn't accept that he was capable of doing such a thing, He couldn't accept God's mercy, he couldn't face Jesus. It was all about himself. He he he. Him, him, him. So he hung himself, and the Bible tells us he is in hell.

Peter was also sad - at having denied Jesus, but Peter went away and cried many, many tears. It's said that he cried so much that his tears left tracks down his cheeks, because Peter loved Jesus, and Jesus knew it. So Peter was made head of Jesus's Church on earth.

Judas regretted. Peter repented.

Cowards always regret. Oh dear.

I agree with the other comments here; everyone is quite different, it’s hard to detect the signs in everyone because some people will go from avoiding you completely and others will contact you incessantly; both are still signs of guilt. I’ve had people do both to me and it wasn’t too long ago I had someone hurt me very badly and has since been avoidant. I’ve not spoken to this person nor do I want to, I don’t choose to think about or hope that person feels guilty because they’ve hurt me and I choose to focus more on healing from whats happened.

It all depends on their behaviour from how they’ve been in the past to now; has something changed? If so they probably do feel guilty and if not then they don’t care or see anything wrong with what they’ve done. They lack empathy and the ability to take accountability for what they’ve done, you generally know very quickly if that were the case by how they act and if they’re not reaching out to you to apologise than my best bet would be that regardless of their feelings they don’t seem to care about yours.

Start by caring about you and loving you; when you take control of your ability to give less fucks about your situation you begin to give less fucks about somebody not worth your thoughts or time especially somebody who’s hurt you

It depends on the person… but here are some:

They may at first respond with a flurry of attention to the situation, including some excuses and so on, showing that it is a REALLY BIG DEAL to them. It is hard to just move on and think of other things if it has been suggested that you’ve hurt someone you care about.

They want to understand what happened and put efforts into learning about and from the situation.

They accept accountability and apologize.

They do NOT continue to act in the same way.

They look ashamed and perhaps a bit awkward and insecure.

They bring up what happened in the future, still thinking about it and regretting it.

They may try to explain why (so far as they can tell) what happened happened, but they do not trivialize or minimize the harm done. If they are trivializing it, they haven’t really grasped what has happened, or they don’t really take it to be a big deal.

They try to make amends. If you feel badly about hurting someone, you’re generally extra careful for awhile as they heal and rebuild their trust in you (if possible).

They worry you might move on, and they gain a better understanding of how much they care about you (if they do). That shows in their recommitment to the relationship, with increased efforts to connect and to nourish and improve the connection.

They don’t ever really feel o.k. about it. Even years later, remembering it, they feel sad and ashamed and wish they hadn’t caused you that pain.

They will initiate contact with you to issue an apology for the mistreatment and listen to you fully as you express your pain. They will not “ghost” you, make excuses, or use any kind of language that indicates them trying to minimize your pain. And they will willingly make whatever kinds of reparations are necessary to restore you to the way you were prior to the abuse. You will not have to look for subtle signs of guilt/regret from that individual. If you feel this is necessary, then please know that the person is not truly sorry for what they have done. At best, they might feel a bit regretful over having been “exposed”. And that is all. It is a painful truth to accept. But it hurts far less to “rip off the bandaid of false hope” in one swipe than to leave oneself with a festering wound that is not allowed to heal properly.

It depends upon how that person handles the feeling of guilt. Some people cannot sit with this emotion without going to an extreme of sorts. For instance, someone may instantly turn guilt to anger because anger is easier to work with than guilt. Guilt usually calls for ownership and feelings of discomfort. Many people hate to acknowledge the fact that they could possibly be responsible for someone else's pain, so its easier to get angry at the ones they hurt. They hope that the hurt ones will bite back. If the guilty can get the hurt ones angry as well, then the guilty can justify their hurtful behavior , in the first place.

Some people turn the feelings of guilt, quickly to shame, and disappear. This is why we have such a trend of “ghosting “ in this day and age. Sometimes guilt is too much for people to take on , altogether, so they evaporate…..pretend the situation or person ever existed.

If a self reflective person of good character feels as though they did you wrong, they most likely will apologize and ask how they can make it better. They will be willing to own up to mistakes and also willing to do what it takes to make it up to you.

Hello, I wanna start this off by saying, thank you for requesting me to answer.

a really big sign is they are quieter than usual. this could mean not answering your texts, hanging out with you less often, or even not looking at you as much. this shows guilt in the way they don't want to face the guilt that they're feeling. then again, if they hurt you, they probably are not speaking to you (or maybe they are), so that could just be due to the fact that they are angry.

Another one is, they don't want to talk about it. they will say something brief or vague when asked about the situation, another thing they might do is change the subject or not respond at all.

the last one is they will want you to believe they're happy alone. he will post pictures on social media about how great his life is, or act really happy when you are nearby. his happiness will be so extreme, you’ll probably see right through it.

Well, humans’ eye give away the strength of their souls, and most often behind that their emotions. Do you run into them? Do your eyes lock, even for a split second, can you see any emotion in their eyes? Pupils dilate when we see someone important to us.. But,.. can you use your spirit to really see into them? I know nor everyone is capable but they may also steal glances at you when you aren’t looking. They may be awkward, quiet, shy, or even sad, even when you aren’t around. I’ve had guilt like this before.

• They may ask how you are doing, all the time.
• They might send your super long texts, apologizing. Its easier to say things over text than in person for most people.
• They may avoid talking about your relationship, and the end of it. I mean, why would they? Pain doesn’t exactly just fly away..
• They say it’s not you, its them. You must be able to read a person’s eyes and body language to understand this one. They may be saying it because there is something bothering them, and they fear telling you about it because you may turn them away, or they have some insecurity, or both.
• They become overwhelmed with guilt and grief, that it changes everything about them. Their appetite may be different. They may be getting less sleep. They have dreams about you. The worst emotional scar is it resulting in depression, which can lead to suicide.

My best advice to you is to not leave your ex in the dust, hating them, being angry, because life moves on. I’m not saying to become their friend, but being polite, even if its cold can reduce scars; don’t crap-talk about them behind their back; and overall, make peace, if possible. They smallest look or word can severely damage one’s feelings, leaving unhealed wounds.

-R e a p e r

I think the biggest sign I ever saw was the day we were having a great day, were at church and suddenly, my husband broke into a flood of tears, out of the blue. I looked at him and he pulled me toward him and said how sorry he was and how I never deserved what he did. He literally went into a crying jag and I held him feeling his entire body quiver. I’d only seen him like that one other time, when he broke down over his son’s murder.

I knew it was guilt and since we had already discussed what happened, he didn’t need to put on any theatrics or anything. We had already been in counseling and were on the mend. But he was distraught and ashamed.

It was the biggest “I love you” I’d ever felt. That shame that he displayed and the remorse touched me. We were able to get him past that with counseling. Because as much as I appreciated that he realized what he did was wrong, I didn’t want him existing in shame, just awareness.

She couldn’t invade us after that. All of her efforts were wasted against a united couple. And she finally ghosted us after he called her work and threatened to sue the company she worked for if she didn’t stop stalking and harassing him on company time.

Firstly , most of the person find it difficult to realise or feels guilty that they had hurt someone . But , some kind hearted individuals who know the importance of good person in life feels very uncomfortable or guilty if they had hurt someone . Thus , the guilt can be seen by the following ways -

1.If you are living with that particular than the guilt can be seen at his / her face .

2. You will find out some changes in the behaviour of that individual of doing the things in a different manner or that one will be a little bit more kind and polite this time.

3.May that person will gift you something as a compensation for hurting you .

4.That particular will try to have a conversation with you .

Stop hurting , start loving🌷

Thankyou ♥️

For myself, I have trouble looking the person in the eye. I want so badly to apologize and even better to take back what I did. I can't though and it's killing me! I want to talk but I can't stand to hear the pain in the voice or see it on your face! Plus, I fear that I'll recieve hurt from “them.” I know how hurt feels and that's why I'm so torn apart for what I did or said. I desperately want the chance to make things right again. If only I'm allowed. I may even beg for forgiveness! My biggest fear is I've pushed you away for good and that I caused so much pain there is no healing.

The worst is when the whomever I've hurt or supposedly hurt doesn't give a damn. They were just playing with my heart and mind all the time. No feelings. They are enjoying MY pain. I didn't really hurt them. It's simply part of the plan and oh how they love watching you fall to pieces! After all, I never hurt them, nah they just made me believe I did so they could laugh!

Are you hoping they are have guilty feelings because guilt is a double-edged sword. Guilt is what happens when you feel bad for doing something wrong, but then shame begins to set in afterwards. It is a whirlwind of nuclear waste within your soul and psyche, and that waste will seep out of your skin. It will wreak havoc on your personal relationships. That is one way in which guilt shows itself. Another way, according to Freud, anytime we have slip of the tongue comments and we have “accidents” it is due to guilt that has been pent up and suppressed trying to break free from the bondage which we have placed it in.

Another way in which guilt pops out is by constantly being “a day late, and a dollar short” yet you cannot understand why. Or how about those times you come to realize your jokes are not funny any longer, they are just offensive. See how that nuclear waste of emotional sabotage begins to alter your whole life?

Guilt leads to paranoid thinking. And a last point is that guilt will keep you from allowing yourself to succeed. Self-sabotage…..that’s guilt often times.

Having said that, guilt is a pro-social emotion. It helps to protect our interpersonal relationships. It is the burst of signals that says, “call mom, it is mother’s day,” or “i only have 2 tickets to the show, and I know there are friends that want to go just as bad as the others and so not taking someone will end up hurting their feelings, possibly crushing them emotionally.” So my advice is this, guilt is useful and needed in small doses, but if you leave it unresolved then you are just hitting snooze on an alarm that is going to win out in the end. It will skew your thinking, then skew your life.

I hope this helps.

They avoid you. They ghost you and many times deny they have hurt you. If a person truly feels guilty for hurting you…you won’t have to ask for signs they feel guilty. They will tell you they are sorry and ask for forgiveness. There is no question in your mind they feel guilty.

If a person is hurting you and not apologizing…this is a HUGE red flag. They don’t feel they have done anything wrong. People hurt us accidentally all the time. Just living life and focusing on their stuff. But generally at some point you will get an apology.

I do this myself. I am convinced (there’s no evidence at all this what I’m trying to convince myself is true) that my family and all my friends called me a liar when I was diagnosed with cancer…and they did it on social media. I tell myself they don’t believe me because they haven’t seen me. I was heavy when I was diagnosed. Almost 3 years ago. After my surgery which was for pancreatic cancer….i have lost a total of 175 pounds. I don’t look like I have cancer except my eyes. I’m a vegan so my diet is meticulous…if it’s not I start vomiting uncontrollably. I am not nor have I been on chemo. My pancreatic Neuroendocrine cancer doesn’t respond to chemo at all. My treatment was my surgery. So I will send them pictures to show them I’m not lying. I send medical records and have given all my family my user id and passwords to my medical records. And sent them them the medical reports. I seem to thing they just don’t know. They know. They don’t care. All the ghosting and attacks on my integrity and being left with no support during this battle. Nothing works to convince them I’m telling the truth. I tell myself they feel guilty. But people who feel guilty apologize, make amends and don’t do it again. My “loved ones” don’t feel guilty and in fact to them…I am dead. This is my mom, sister, aunt, all my friends except one. Thank God for him.

if a loved one is and has hurt you…and has not taken measures to make your relationship whole….their is no guilt.i don’t want to hurt you….but sweetie they don’t care about you.

I would like you to look at love differe...

Depends on their personality and how well they cope with their own emotions. If they’re the type who’s a bit awkward when it comes to handling their emotions, then they will lie about it to get rid of the guilt. What you need to look for is someone who sucks at lying when it comes to this. They can try shifting the blame on you (gaslighting, etc) and from then on it should be the victim’s decision on how to cope with that.

There are some people who’s coping mechanism is to submit into blame. so usually before they properly make a coherent thought about the whole situation, they’ll blame themselves completely and will retract back/shut people out

Not necessarily true, but I’d be wary of someone who outwardly says they feel guilty without really taking a proper argument/consideration about what they did. Y’know? Like acting. Who knows maybe they’re just awkward at expressing emotions.

Idk man, you really gotta be good at reading people and knowing their personality. Gotta be both intuitive and logical about this

Well I know when I hurt someone who didn’t deserve it or when I’m in a foul mood or my day just isn’t going right it eats at my conscious and feels like a thorn in my emotions and spirit. I can’t get comfortable and it even hinders me from indulging in some of the pleasures that I partake in order to celebrate life. It eats away at my conscious make things right or life sometimes can’t proceed. So when I apologize I’m always gonna look the person in the eyes show them I’ll sincere. And let the emotion flow naturally. If that means crying in the moment I do, if at the moment I’m feeling strong and confident tho I messed up then I will still show remorse with out seeming fake. There’s nothing worse then a fake apology that someone gives only out of duty. U can feel the difference so strongly one literally feels like a blessing (cause you see the persons heart) and the other feels like a curse for the very same reason.

Thank you for requesting my qnawer Babajide. Aside from openly admitting and apologizing for hurting you, the following would be signs of unspoken guilt and remorse:

1. The person compensates by being specially (and often uncharacteristically) nice for a period after the hurtful event
2. There can be a “partial/semi" apology in the form of eg ; “ I didn't really mean to do it*. The latter often goes hand in hand with some accusation about the victim's behavior which allegedly provoked the aggressors actions in the first instance, thereby justifying them.
3. People who are unable to communicate complex feelings on a verbal or non-verbal level, will often attempt to “make up" after hurting someone through sexual contact. This naturally applies more to married or couple partners.

There are more subtle signs which relate to your question, but these are the primary thoughts . Before closing, I need to say that nobody should tolerate abuse from another person. If hurtful behavior ia a trend in a relationship, then this requires deep soul searching for the victim. Usually this involves many destructive (including control based ) paychodynamica and the abuse is usually designed to .ake the victim more vulnerable, insecure and dependent on the aggressor. The process inevitably breaks one partner down, and is worse the longer the pwraon remains in an unchanged situation. I always advise people I such a situation to seek the best help possible to assist change. All the very best for the future

Guilt can manifest in many ways depending on the person.

First, it’s important to note what guilt is. Guilt is the range of emotions and behaviors that come about when you have broken some rule. This could be something that actually happened (ie. you stole a cookie from the cookie jar) or some internal thought (ie. thinking about hurting a loved family member or friend). Both of these instances violate some rule, don’t steal and don’t hurt the people you love respectively.

this is important because if the person doesn’t think they violated a rule, they won’t feel guilt.

Now once people feel guilty they will try to escape that feeling. Let’s face it, guilt feels pretty bad and it’s not something we want to live with. Most people to escape the feeling of guilt, will be extremely nice. They may give you extra attention, complete more chores, buy expensive gifts, SAY THEY ARE SORRY (surprised how often I see this one ignored), etc. They want your forgiveness.

I will say, given the premise of the question, that this should all mean nothing if they hit you. Someone may feel guilty for hitting you but that does not mean you should forgive them, especially if it has happened more than once. No amount of apologizing should ever make up for that.