Ok, so, usual disclaimer: this is how I experience things blah blah don’t like terminology blah blah OSDD blah blah

So, first thing is that everything is extremely fluid. Although there might be some common elements between different experiences, it can all change very fast.

As we become accustomed, familiar, and closer to each other, relationships develop as does the sharing of experiences and memories.

The littlest one has incredible sensory differences. Everything is louder, bigger, smellier, overall more overwhelming.

Then #1 has the nickname “Poet” because he sees life so colourfully, and effectively in a very poetic way. He uses emotional language and is very expressive.

When the two of them are together, the world looks amazing. Colours are brighter, emotions are more intense, and empathy is inhuman. While they can be very easily overwhelmed, their perspective can bring joy, and a unique appreciation for the world, and for life. They can make a walk in the part at dawn feel like standing at the edge of the Universe while watching in awe.

11 used to bring a lot of rageful loneliness with him, but that has changed. Now there’s mainly his rage. He finds colouring soothing, so we have various apps. I believe it’s important that he experiences “not anger” so to speak. He tends to see the world in grays. There’s no colour, nor black or white. That might be why he likes colouring. So, different from the previous two.

Recently 14 has been coming out. Bless him, he’s rather shady. I guess he’d have been one of those kids that one crosses the road not to pass by. He has a strange perspective in life. I think he’s pretty matter of fact. He just sees what’s in front of him. There are no nuances or interpretations. What is, is. Everything is pretty sharp, edged. There’s no blending of colours and very little emotional engagement. The opposite of #1.

I’m still trying to work out the others. I think V5 is very sneaky and he just takes over without me realising.

But also, there’s mixed influences.

For example, Lil’ One is the only one who is overtly displaying autistic traits. He can self-manage his stims in the day rather well, but then at night he likes to have a long whole-body stimming session when we go to bed. This is a good example of multi-layered participation of selves in daily life.

So, Lil’ One does his stim, the teens purr, and I discuss the subtleties of a multi-identity with the adults in my system.

I think this means that there are separate levels of interactions with our selves. The physical, mixed (sensory perception), and purely cognitive levels can each be affected differently and concurrently by our others. Possibly there are even more levels of engagement.

Obviously, I am still at an early stage of my journey so I might be misreading what is happening, but this is my interpretation at this point

How do you experience it? 💜