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  1. Air conditioning is the most important thing to have. In your car, in your house/apartment/condo/whatever… You need that AC to keep working. Make sure you always have enough extra cash to pay for emergency AC repair.
  2. Avoid turning the AC completely off, especially for long periods of time during the summer. It might not turn back on again. Instead, set it to about 80 degrees every time you leave the house, and turn it cooler when you get home.
  3. If you have young kids, make sure they’ve taken swim lessons, or sign them up quickly, because just about everyone has a pool out here, and over 750 kids in Arizona have drowned since 2000. The risk of drowning in Arizona was twice the national average, as of 2016.
  4. If your car engine overheats, turn on the heat and open the windows. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it’s getting the heat out of the engine.
  5. Never leave your kids in a non-air-conditioned car for even five minutes (except during winter). You could get arrested, or your kids could die, or both.
  6. If it’s over 120 degrees out, avoid wearing flip-flops or crocs. Your shoes may melt.
  7. Always keep extra water in your car, and carry at least one bottle with you. Refill it at drinking fountains or in sinks to save money. You should finish at least 1.5 of those regular-sized plastic water bottles a day in the winter time, unless you’re also drinking other beverages, and 3 is not unreasonable in summertime. You may also want to buy some water-flavoring, if you’re getting tired of the taste of water.
  8. Leave ice-packs on your seat-belt-buckles in the car during summer, if you want to avoid burning your hands. Also, put a towel over the seat while you’re gone. You do not want leather seats, unless they have that fancy seat-air-conditioner function. If you have a car that lets you turn on the AC before getting into it, use that function.
  9. If you have asthma, and there’s a dust storm, pull the neck of your shirt up over your face.
  10. If someone says they saw a “huboob” they mean a huge wall of dust.
  11. If there’s a flood warning, don’t drive on flooded roads. Floods happen way easier here, because our dirt isn’t very absorbent.
  12. If there’s a dust storm, take down all outdoor umbrellas, and lay them on their sides if they aren’t secured in place. Move pool chairs away from the edge, or you’re going to have to go diving for them later.
  13. If you want your outdoor furniture to last, either buy plastic chairs, or make sure the fabric on them is Sunbrella or a similar sun-resistant brand
  14. Don’t store brightly-colored things near windows or outside. They will soon become lightly colored things.
  15. Watch out for crazy drivers on Arizona roads on rainy days. We don’t know how to drive in the rain.
  16. Don’t try to get a suntan by laying out in the sun. Just don’t. Get the spray on kind, or something. The risk of skin cancer is just not worth it.
  17. Don’t water your plants or lawn during the day.
  18. Even natives can get heatstroke, as I learned yesterday. Learn to recognize symptoms, such as dizziness, nausea, and not sweating despite the heat.
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