I was sitting at my computer typing.

A door closes, I hear her walking into the house, she had been out with her mother.

She says my name from our bedroom, her voice is broken, I can tell she is crying. I get up and walk to the room. I look in, she is staring at the ceiling with tears slowly streaming down her face.

Slowly walking over, I sit next to her, unaware I was entering the final true moments of my marriage.

I am very concerned. “Mary?…..what….what is wrong?”

She cries for a moment while I rub my hand in circles on her back. She doesn’t look at me, she keeps looking forward.

“I ..<long pause>….I…..I don’t think I want to be married to you anymore.”

My hand stops. My eyes go wide. “What?”

She is crying, takes a breath “I don’t think I want to be married to you anymore”.

“What are you talking about hun? What ….what happened?”

She says “I’m just, just not happy, I’m not in love with you anymore. I don’t think I love you”

(Things had been a little frosty for a couple months - but not terrible? What is going on?)

I say “Babe, what…..what is this? Everything is fine? How did we get here? We were trying to have a kid 6 months ago, now we are breaking up? Whatever it is, I’m sure I can fix it. I love you hun.”

She ignores me, says “I’m going to stay at my friends house”, starts packing some of her things as I stare in confusion.

She walks to the front door and I follow, trying to figure it all out.

I walk out front with her as she walks to her car, I start encouraging her to stay. She says nothing, just that she needs to go away for a while. She gets in her car, says goodbye.

I stand in our gravel driveway and watch her drive off.

I walk back and sit down on my front porch and stare blankly at the ground for 30 minutes. Completely, utterly, shocked. I was totally blindsided, unable to even feel heartbreak yet.

The Backstory

Our marriage wasn’t great up until that point, but it wasn’t terrible by any means. We’d been trying to have a kid, we were both 28. We tried for 7 months unsuccessfully and gave up for a while. I encouraged her to see a doctor.

She got very depressed, she started drinking a lot and going out. I tried to convince her to get help, she wouldn’t listen. She stopped coming home some nights, I thought nothing of it, I trusted her completely.

After she leaves that day.

I fought hard, really hard. She keeps refusing to come home. Ignoring most of my calls. I keep telling her we can’t work on our marriage if we aren’t living together. I call her mother, trying to get her to talk to her. For months I do everything, appeasing her whims, expressing how much I love her, and saying I’m sorry for anything and everything I’ve done to let her down.

I have an epiphany.

Nothing about all of this made sense. I hadn’t done anything that bad to her to begin with. I had always been sweet. I had never yelled, called her a name, hit her or anything. I cooked several nights a week. Hell I even brought home flowers on occasion. I know what bad bf/husbands are, I definitely wasn’t one of them.

That night, I literally jolt awake in sweats. I think she is cheating on me.

I get out of bed, I find a computer in our closet where I know her email/facebook are still logged in.

I go on and find pictures of her on her Facebook account (in private messages) going to Disney with another guy and his kid, she doesn’t have her wedding ring on. I look down and see mine still on my hand. I go to her email and find tons of pictures with her and him. Details I can’t go into here. It was like something out of a movie, and totally devastating. This wasn't supposed to happen.

I asked for a divorce.

It was a very difficult period. There were days where the air felt very still around me, like time had stopped, flattened out into a long perpetual groaning moment where all I could hear was the sound of my heart slowly breaking. It was difficult on my mother who saw the pain it was causing me. (I tried very hard to hide it around her, but she saw right through it as any mother would).

Slowly but surely it started to get better. I started pouring my energy into exercise, my studies, my career and family. I never turned to alcohol or drugs.

Today, I have a new lease on life. I’ve met an amazing girl. She is extremely supportive, loyal, and if I might say, gorgeous. Got a promotion, am finishing my MBA. I couldn’t be happier. Best wishes to all those who have gone through something similar.

Divorce/Hard-Breakups are very very hard, just remember to breathe. It will all be ok. Time heals the deepest of wounds.