I have talked about this on a prior post (Dustin R Martin's answer to What is the most disrespectful thing to happen to you during your own wedding? ) but I will flesh it out for this post. My father was a liar and a manipulator. When my wife and I had first started dating and dad found out she had her own home, he decided he needed in. He called us with an elaborate tale of pancreatic cancer and him having limited time left. Of course, I immediately appealed to my wife/girlfriend asking her to take him in. She agreed, but on the condition he share info with us on his diagnosis. Turns out she was WAY smarter than I had ever thought. She recognized him as a manipulator and was determined to prove it.

Soon enough things began to change. Dad became very rude to the point of being verbally abusive. Had this been a few years prior I would have probably bowed out to him. Unfortunately for dad I had my Girl. She mad me smarter and resistant to his bull. Long story short, Dad got the boot. I still had not disowned his butt. A few years passed and my girl and I decided to marry. That was when he uttered the famous “ I’ll die before I let you marry her!”. Well that went over like a fart in church. I did marry her and I did cut dad out of my life for a bit. I thought that might be the end. No even close.

I didn’t see dad again until I lost my Aunt. I saw him at a funeral and decided to give him another chance. It wasn’t like anything could go wrong, right? Well needless to say, I got blindsided. Not by my father, but by my sister. By this point I was working for KBR in the Middle East. It was a good paying job and I averaged about $8000 a month. My sister knew this and hatched a plan. My father and I had agree to meet up at the airport the day I was flying back to work. Our relationship was still on the mend. The day before I left my sister contacted me. She told me that I was to deposit $5000 a month into her account so she could “care for my father”. And by “care for my father” I mean fuel her drug habit. If I said no she would “make my life hell”. I told the dippy bitch to take her best shot. Knowing there wasn’t anything she could do to me she changed he tactics. If I contacted my dad she would make his life hell. Dad was living with her at the time. I hung up on her. I suspected that my dad might be behind the whole thing. What could I do?

I did what I thought was right. I cut them off completely. Zero contact whatsoever. They tried to call, but I wouldn’t answer. They tried to e-mail, but I deleted them. In my eyes they were a cancer, and the only cure was amputation. Years passed and the calls and emails stopped. Finally, my uncle stepped in to try and heal the breach. I told him everything. Showed emails, texts, and calls from her. I left it in his hands. He said that he would talk with my dad and have him call me. I was now working in Afghanistan. I got a call from my wife. My Uncle had passed. Had he talked with my dad? I have received no communication. My wife then told me he had begged he to have me call him. I thought about that for days. My answer became clear.

No. I would not call. He had started this and he could call me. I talked with cousins and had a message passed to him. If you want to talk, you call me. He never called. More years and I received the call I knew would come. Dad had died. He apparently had gotten sick with a flu and refused to get it treated. It became pneumonia. Dad was gone. He basically died alone. As for my sister, she contacted me to give her control over dads affairs. As she was adopted and I was his natural child, I had power of attorney. I sent her a document from my lawyer allowing her to clear out his storage unit and bank accounts. She didn’t contact again until months later claiming I had never sent it. Considering I had sent it as a registered letter and my receipt showed that it had been signed for, I decided it was just more drama. I cut her off again.

Life is good now. I have my wife and child. I live states away from my home state. I found out my sister had my dads ashes and some family things. She left them in an apartment when she tried to screw my older brother over, so he has them now. I take life one day at a time and hardly ever think of dad anymore. I think I did the right thing. Sometimes I believe myself too.