I thought a lot about my response to this question, and what my reasons for leaving relationships ultimately boiled down to, and it is this: lack of responsibility for self and others. The ex in question showed strong indications of becoming a major liability to me down the line due to their irresponsibility and lack of far-range vision.

Lack of responsibility has manifested itself in many different ways. Sometimes I noticed a poor work ethic—refusing to work or feeling put-upon because they had to self-sustain. Other times it was harboring dreams that were too fantastical and out-of-reach to be achieved without either putting forth a lot of effort or winning the national lottery. Uncalculated risk-taking: drug use, alcoholism, extreme sports, etc. Poor handling of personal finances—accruing too much unnecessary debt, mooching off of me and other family members, buying stuff wily-nily. Emotionally and physically removed men are a different breed of liability insofar that they serve no functional purpose bar their ornamental value.

And, of course, I left anyone who didn’t want to get married. Again for the same reason: lack of responsibility for self and others.

Feeling like you’re the only adult in the room gets old after a while.

None of us are 100 percent responsible all of the time, but most of us, I believe, make an honest effort to do our best. I am not a petty person, and I don’t hop out of the fence without a legitimate reason. Life is difficult enough without someone intentionally making things far worse.

My business is not to clean up others’ messes, pick up the slack because they made patently stupid decisions that land them in a world of hurt, or deal with major life crises on my own because they can’t be bothered to show up and engage.

So there’s your reason.