I’m basing this completely on my own experiences over my lifetime. Maybe I’ve just had a series of outliers over the years.

Men: Either we’re watching a show, or we’re having a conversation, but not both.

Women: Let’s talk while we watch this together.

My wife used to get upset with me when we were watching TV together, and, upon realizing that she wanted to say more than two sentences, I’d pause the show and turn towards her to listen to her. She thought I was mocking her or being sarcastic by pausing the show or something.

I wasn’t. I can seriously only pay attention to one source of noise at a time. If she wanted me to process what she was saying, I had to pause the other thing that was talking to me. I felt I was respecting her by pausing the show to listen to what she had to say.

Anyway, she’s gotten used to it over the years. It doesn’t bother her anymore.

I remember my father was the same way with my mom, but he didn’t have the advantage of being able to pause live TV like I do. He would mute his show if my mother seemed like she was going to try to carry on a conversation.

The bar for “conversation” is “more than two sentences that require a response.” If you want to throw out a comment from time to time, that’s fine. If you expect more than a nod of agreement, I’m going to need to pause this show.

In my early 20s, I lived with a roommate for a few years. He and I were the same age and had similar interests. We could watch an entire show and not say a single thing to each other and think nothing of it. I’ve never met a woman who could occupy the same room as someone else for more than 20 minutes without feeling the need to say something to that person. It’s like sitting in silence for extended periods of time near other people makes them uncomfortable.