I'm a trained and certified professional cook / chef, and will have two decades of experience under my belt later this year.

Every other hobby cook I've ever met tried to tell me how it's really done, and that they could cook me into the ground any time.

Happens weekly at least. Nothing to be done about it. I tend to stay polite and slowly back off, maybe mumbling that home cooking really bears little resemblance to restaurant cooking into my beard.

They get to keep believing they could launch a glorious career as top celebrity chefs when they tire of their cute little 9–5 office gig, I get to keep my sanity and clear criminal record, and that counts as a win/win Situation for me…