Back in 2014, I was to travel to Kota (Rajasthan) for my brother’s marriage. I had a dog back then, so initially I decided to skip the marriage but 5–6 days before the marriage, someone volunteered to take care of my dog and so I booked my tickets. I got reserved seats in a Sleeper coach for overnight travel (It was February so no heat issues) and that too my favourite Berth ie. SideLower.

So worst Co-PassengerS! An aunty and an Uncle. In their mid 50s.

I found my seat. And I found An Uncle and an Aunty chilling and eating on the seat allocated to me. No Newspapers. No tissues. Nothing. I enquired about the seat and well like I was expecting, I was asked to move to a middle seat which I politely denied being an Insomniac and I find middle and top berths suffocating.

So they asked me to wait and so I did. For an hour. On someone else’s berth. While they munched on their meals. And Burped.

And then I got that beloved seat for the next 8 hours or so. But nope. Aunty and Uncle and their family in the other coach had other plans.

Every 15 minutes, someone would come up to Aunty to enquire if a lower berth was available and I could hear her say “Ask this guy in the lower berth if he’dd move”. And this happened like 4 times until I decided to fake-close my eyes shut, and pretended to sleep.

And all this while, Uncle was on the other middle berth with his background music rocking the coach. THAT UNCLE FARTED WHOLE NIGHT LONG. WHOLE DAMN NIGHT. LOUD AF FARTS. I swear, one time he sneezed and farted at the same time.

The only funny thing about this incident was that there was someone feeling even more tortured that me.

A GUY ON THE BERTH ABOVE THE UNCLE’S MIDDLE BERTH. That guy almost had his face on the opening of the devil’s Trumpet.