I’m familiar with the whole ‘I hate arguments’ thing. In my past, I have allowed myself to be mistreated because of a fear of confrontations. You’re going to have to learn to gut up and stand up for yourself, not only in this situation with your husband, but as an important life skill. Otherwise, people will continue to take advantage of you.

Ask yourself what it is about the situation that makes you so uncomfortable that you’d rather avoid it. Are you afraid of emotional or physical abuse? Do you just have no confidence that you can win the argument? Are you afraid your husband won’t love you if you confront him? What is the worst thing that can happen if you stand up for yourself? Think through it and play it in your mind so that you feel prepared when it happens.

Something I learned that may help is a concept called ‘mindful awareness’. As I understand it, the idea is to separate your emotions from the situation and try to see it from an objective position. Then ask yourself honestly, what is causing you to feel as you do. I find that this exercise helps me to see things more clearly and calmly.

Having said all that, you might also want to ask yourself why you are with someone who blames you for his mistakes and uses your weaknesses against you.

I know it’s scary but I must tell you that learning to stand up for yourself is one of the most freeing and confidence-building things you can do. This could be one of the great learning moments of your life. Accept the challenge. Good luck.