I once worked at a pharmacological lab located in a different building away from my usual lab at the university. I needed to extract some compounds from the leaves of my orchid plants, and the necessary equipment was not available at my lab.

Shifting to the new lab was akin to moving to a completely different world. It was a little intimidating. When I first got there, two male PhD students were already working at the lab. I made friends easily with one of them, a kind family person from Yemen. He guided me through most of the extraction process.

However, I could not get off on an equal footing with the other guy, VG. He stared at me continuously the first week I was at the lab. Every “good morning” and “hi” I sent his way were met with a curt nod.

VG began getting very inquisitive about my work after the first week. He always had this air of hostility about him, and I think my friend sensed it too. VG would poke his nose into my experiments whenever my friend was guiding me, and spew his wisdom at us, despite our expertise at the subject. I also have some knowledge of microscopy, and people from neighbouring labs used to visit the lab to ask my advice regarding the procedure. VG, sitting far away, would raise his voice to ask us about our conversation, and then try to cut me off by giving his opinion on the subject. My friend and I would usually slink away or cut him off halfway by giving some excuse about finishing our work. My friend even apologised on behalf of VG one day, saying that I should not take his behaviour to heart as he has always been this way.

However, one evening, when we were deep in an experiment, VG decided to poke his nose into our work again. He began asking me basic questions about my compounds. I was not really paying much attention to him, when he suddenly said, “You know, I know about all these things. I am a lecturer in my country. You should listen to what I have to say.”

I stared at him, puzzled at his hostility. My friend tried telling him that we already have knowledge of such things and were busy to boot, but he insisted on lecturing us, for the next 20 minutes, about plant secondary metabolism. He went on and on about all the necessary pathways in the plant metabolic system, asking me “do you follow?” intermittently. I was furious. I was torn between telling him off and keeping the peace. I was saved by a phone call. I ran and left the lab.

I thought about the situation that night. I was new in the lab, and I did not want to antagonise people and jeopardise relationships of supervisors and researchers between both labs. But I was not willing to put up with this behaviour anymore. I then decided to stay as far away as possible from this person throughout my stint at the lab. It did not quite solve the problem I had with him, but it worked in keeping the peace in the lab.

But the situation did not last long. VG disappeared in the middle of my stint at the lab, and I did not see him anymore thereafter. I later learnt that he returned to his home country due to a nervous breakdown. I hope he is well, wherever he is now.