My mother loved her grandchildren - in theory. She loved them most when they sat and played quietly and didn’t interrupt her conversation and demand attention.

This was not at all normal for my children - if they acted like that I would feel their foreheads to see if they were sickening for something.

She lived several hundred miles away, and would come to stay a couple of times a year. The children tried to share their favourite toys, and talk to her, but it didn’t really work. They loved her, in a dutiful way, but weren’t really close. I think she missed out on a lot.

My daughter lives a few miles away and we see her and her family a lot. A few visits ago when we walked in the younger boy shouted out, “Granny!” and launched himself at me and hugged me around the waist. I consider that a great compliment.