Here’s how my relationship with my two best friends ended in one fell swoop.

Three months ago, I made the mistake of taking a road trip with my [former] best friend (P) of nearly 25 years. We traveled to the east coast, where we stayed with my other [former] best friend (D) and his wife.

To put it nicely, the trip was an unmitigated disaster. P was highly critical, picked at me constantly and argued about everything. She had to be right, and everything had to be her way, no matter what. She had planned out the entire trip to suit her own agenda, giving no thought to anything I might want. My objections fell on deaf ears. Her behavior during the entire very long 10 days was selfish and self-centered. The tension between us made our hosts extremely uncomfortable in their own home.

On returning home, I sent flowers and an apology to them, but to no avail.

A very long story cut very short, our disastrous trip caused D to end our 15+ year friendship, which is quite awkward, since we still have to work together for at least another year and a half.

P’s behavior after we got back was hostile and I was relieved when I dropped her at the airport for her flight home three days later.

Thinking about my relationship with P over the years, I felt used, serving as free lodging and transportation on her frequent trips back to her home town after she had moved away nine years ago. In a short email exchange, I let her know that I felt used and disrespected, my boundaries trampled repeatedly, and that I was never going to allow anyone to treat me that way again. I was so done. I don’t miss either of them, but I think I miss the idea of D and his incredible brilliance. But, you know, life goes on, and I’m better off without the stress.