
Who can answer this better then me. I am a women, a divorced women and I don’t know if I was a victim or I made a victim. I am repenting now and the repent has no values. I had put my legs on axe and my own people helped me push my legs against that axe.
Since I am writing this anonymously as I do not want to reveal my identity, I will give the very details of what happened and my suffering now.Now when I look back I can see the monster I had become.
My name is Riya and am from Kolkata.
I had done a false dowry and DV case on my Husband.
I don’t want to blame because enough of blame game I played till now but now if I get that friend of mine who used to teach me how to overpower your husband and how to get rid of in-laws, I will kill her without any second thought.
My friend had a troubled married life and I invited her to my marriage. Till my marriage everything was good. I was happy and cheerful and was glowing like diamond. My divorced husband now was the most beautiful thing I had got as gift. And yes the in-laws whom just before few months I wanted them to die were so gentle and kind.
After few days of my marriage I had little argument with my husband on something and unluckily it was that day that bitch called me. And just as girl friends, I spoke to her about the argument. She started saying things like -
- Do you have any value in your house?
- Are you not empowered or educated enough to listen to his words?
- May be he is good but he can be good only for his parents and you are just a servant and you have ruined your freedom.
Those were some words that penetrated in my ears and got on my nerves. After my husband returned from office, I didn’t talk to him. He tried to touch me and make me laugh by doing some acting but I was having something else in my brain, “ I wanted to get value, power and self-respect” (Now thinking about that time, I already had that).
I didn’t talk to him the whole night and didn’t let him touch me. He tried his best to entertain me and since he was tired he fell asleep.
The next day, I intentionally woke up at 10:00 AM, and my MIL was already in kitchen cooking stuffs, my husband was reading newspaper as it was Sunday. He was back from early morning shopping and was reading newspaper. He looked at me and smiled and tried to poke me in stomach to make me laugh. But I made my mouth and returned back to bedroom. I don’t know how MIL sensed that and I heard her saying her son ” Go and see what happened, why is she upset? Did you do anything to upset her?”
He came to the room and laid his head on my legs and tried to see my eye and I took my face away from him. He asked “what happened?” I replied, do you really want to know what happened? (My tone was angry). He woke up and sat down and said “yes please help me understand?” he was not angry but he was not jolly as well. I got pissed for no reason and started shouting “ I don’t want to live hear, I don’t have value here, i don’t have future, I am stuck with making food for you and the old people here. Where is my freedom.( I don’t know why i was angry and I don’t know why the word freedom was revolving in my brain. Trust me friends, now when I think of those days, I was the most happiest person, with beautiful family and freedom and ambition in my life. before that call from my friend).
He got a bit frowned, and said they are my and your parents and they are not some other old people. Never ever disrespect elders, be it from your family or mine.
His one reply was enough to piss me off, and I pushed him from bed, he was sitting on the edge and got dis-balanced and a reflex hand reaction hit my face. He balanced himself and he was angrily looking at me. I started shouting, how dare you physically hit me. He said he got dis-balanced and didn’t hit her. I started scolding his family and him. “you ruined my life were some of my words”. He left the room and went outside. I was pissed off and immediately rang my home, my mother picked the phone. “ I was sobbing and the other side got concerned. What happened beta? my mother asked me. “
These people are bad, I am treated like shit here, why did you marry me to a beggar family who can’t even feed me? and now he even beat me like anything.
What! why did he beat you.. how dare he? Have they married my daughter to torture her? Give him the phone. I replied he went out his mother is here. and went to kitchen and gave my MIL the phone. “ My Mil, Namaste samdhin ji “and
I can hear the voice coming out from phone, my mother was so pissed off. She said something that pained my MIL and I heard that too. MIL replied ok let him come I will talk to him about this.
By now I had started feeling some short of power as I got my mothers support and I thought I can use this to get control of this family. I kept crying for no reason in my room. When he returned , my MIL called him angrily and scolded him that why did he beat his wife? He said he didn’t and that he just slipped from bed and reflex reaction from his hand. MIL: Then why is she saying that she was beaten by you?
I stepped out and shouted on MIL, You will support your son because he is born from your vagina. Friends I still repent those sentences. Because then my husband came forward and slapped me hard. He said are you out of your brain? Don’t ever dare to talk to your elders like this, be it your family or mine.
I called my mother and immediately asked me to take me away from here or else I will commit suicide. My MIL tried to say sorry to me, my FIL after knowing about this, scolded my husband and came to me and he had brought those jalebis from market to make me happy. Take this Bahu, lets be happy, life is beautiful he said and I threw the Jalebis on floor. My MIL came to me and sat beside me, “ What happened dear?” . I was getting angry for no reason. The whole night everyone tried their best to make me happy but I was trying to build my dominance and value over them.
Next day my parents came, asked me to pack and left with me and I too went. The worst thing that I did was went with them. After I went home, I called my friend and told her the story. She said “ i am proud of you, good job. Now these men will understand that living without wife is how much pain. I have kept my husband in my control. My MIL/FIL’s now live somewhere we don’t even know. If I will say sit he will sit and when I say stand he will stand. and I really got rid of those old fellows finally or else I would have put this Men in jail along with them to rot. We women have power and we are fucking powerful then Men. Show them your power.”
I then spoke any lie I can speak to my Parents against my Husband and IL.( Ahh, why I did that :( ) My mother got high and she said we should take some legal action against this. And I got a chance and support to show them how powerful I was. And the next day itself we went to nearest police station and put a Dowry and Domestic Violence case against my Husband and whole family. He called me immediately after he got call from the officer. What has happened to you? why are you doing this? Life was so simple and I am sorry if I did anything that hurt you. Please take the FIR back. I am begging you. It will ruin our whole family life dear.
I got another chance and said “ I will take it back if you promise me that we will not live with your parents.” I think by this time he was in shock and fear but my this sentence really gave him full strength. he said “I will go to jail and I will come out of jail. I will give you divorce and will marry again and live a happy family life. I didn’t knew you had such dirty thoughts in your brain. And trust me the things you have done without any reason in just 3 days has meshed our beautiful family of 8 months”
That did hurt my ego and I didn’t understand my husbands anger.
Anyhow he filed a divorce case and I was on 11th heaven as I was getting more and more support from my family and my friend was there to put oil in fire. Finally everything got ruined in another 2 years because after that things didn’t correct rather went more bad and bad. He was afraid of me to bring me back as he didn’t trusted me anymore. I tried to build things sometimes but I knew it was too late. and yes it was too late. We got divorced 9 months back.
I didn’t knew there are girls and family longing out there like vultures to take what is left. Immediately a month after divorce he got a girl and got married.
I am stuck here now. Those two years was a pain for me and that family. I realized it but it was too late. That girl friend of mine had fed so much poison against Men and my own family that I was not seeing anything then hatred against them.
I don’t feel like going outside anymore(I had shouted for freedom right? Actually I was more free there). My parents are trying best to get me married again but something is scaring inside me “ if I will get a beautiful family like my ex Husband” . In those two years, I had seen cases and heard cases of families that scares me. I felt how lucky I was and I am repenting.
Now my family scolds me sometimes. Now they feel concerned about if I got any calls or message from him. Now my friends are concerned about my marriage. Now I get fucking requests and obviously friend requests which is more like a Time pass requests. I can’t even talk to Men around me as people starts seeing me with suspicion. And I don’t know why women are more worried from divorced women’s. These women talk big things about women empowerment and will talk to you like shit after divorce. They will simply hit those pain nerves while talking that will shiver you to core.
Now I have accepted my fate of my life. I know that I have to pay for what I did. I have left everything to God and just pray to get rid of my Sin. There was a time I had started thinking women doing fasts and wearing ornaments and saree and bangles are forced and torture. Now I crave to do that for someone, honestly for my ex husband. the life is dry and sad. though I have joined as a teacher in school near me but I don’t like doing job anymore.
Family was the best thing that had happened to me and i ruined it. And after my divorce my that friend didn’t even contacted me once.
I have request to all girls out there. We human beings are social animals, we are not nomads. family is the best thing that can happen to you. Never ever ever fall in prey to such advises of your girl friends or any friends who don’t have a proper family life. They can ruin your life. There are people out there who can’t see you happy.
It’s void to play blame game after you had lost everything. Mine Family was destroyed by my mistakes and I feel like dying just because I lost such a beautiful family. Never ever talk to girl friends or friends who speak against men and family. It will ruin you and your happy life.