This is a hard question, and really depends on what you are willing to endure. I think we can find the answer by asking some questions.

Note this is referring to an UNTREATED BPD sufferer.

Are you willing to walk on eggshells your whole life?

Are you patient enough?

Are you willing to sacrifice your own freedom?

Are you willing to give up friends and family?

Are you willing to help another individual with their emotional needs?

Are you willing to put up with made up false stories that create conflict?

Are you willing to treat an adult like a child at times?

Are you willing to endure the cold treatments, sarcasm, manipulation, gaslighting, and the constants false accusations that end-up with breakups?

Chances are that no relationship can endure something like this without sacrificing something or many things. The trust in a relationship is the most important thing to make it work and a person BPD has a big problem trusting anybody because of their delusional world the live in.

You have to understand that a good relation requires a couple things to work. Most of the requirements like trust, intimacy, communication and patience is lacking on a person with BPD.

If after reading this, you still want to give the relationship a chance because you are in love or at least think you are, or you just like this person a lot then be ready for a ride in a roller coaster and don’t say I did not warn you. BUT like a nice human being that I think I am, I will give you some tips against my better judgment.

To try to make it work, you can do the following.

1. Get educated about the disorder
2. Get her or him educated about her condition, so they need to accept and be aware of they have. The best way it’s to get them diagnose with a psychiatrist
3. Work on yourself everyday, to become more emotional intelligent, but also make sure your person is growing with you. When fights occur and you are able to identify the disorder, don’t point fingers right away and wait for things to cool down to tell your person the issues you saw.
4. Don’t expect them to be aware of their actions all the time because they act out and might not even realize what they are doing right away. Remember they have traumas and they work on the sub-conscious level so your person won’t be able to reason right way.
5. Don’t try to change them, just work on the their reactions to events. They need to change themselves, just make them aware of what they are doing and offer suggestions.
6. Don’t spend the rest of your life working on somebody that doesn’t change or want to change, give yourself some type of timeline on how much time you will spend to make things work.
7. Write things down, times, dates and so on. Writing things down will help you keep things more objective and give you a view from a different point in time. You will be able to reference any events that keep occurring over and over again. I used an app call my wonderful days in MAC OS.
8. On episodes of rage or outbursts, try to remain calm and try not to leave the house or place until this person finishes screaming or insulting you. Remember they might not mean everything they are saying. Try to hug them and tell them, it’s OK, if you can’t hug them, wait until they calm down and then try it again.

There are some people that been able to make it work, but it requires a lot of work on both parties and sacrifices that some are willing to make.

For me the sacrifices were too much, and the person was cooperating in the level to make anything work at that point.

In the time I was in a relationship with my EX, I lost my freedom to visit places alone, to have certain friends, to be close to family, to do things that required her to trust me. I lost myself because of how I molded my life so she can be happy, which was never achieved.

I lost the Edwin that had motivation to take over the world. My kids went through hell, and even got damaged psychologically (which I’m fixing now with them) along the way.

It was a nightmare and prison of the mind that I felt I could not escape from. I wish I had the courage to leave the relationship when I saw the red flags but because of the way I am, I could not leave a person that needed my help, a person that said I love you, you are my rock, you are my everything, I can’t live without you and so many more - I felt for all of it.

So don’t feel bad if you have fallen for it, even the best with the biggest tittles fall for it. Even geniuses and psychologists fall for this everything single day.

So in conclusion, I came out like a mess from that relationship, but I put myself together and studied psychology and learned about traumas. And after coming out of that mess with all my experience and knowledge, I’m doing my best to help those that need help in this area.

I’m here if you need an advice, get educated about it, follow me to get the latest about BPD.

I hope this helps anyone, thanks