I graduated a year early from high school. I had a great GPA and SAT’s but weak extracurriculars. I only applied to 3 colleges: Mt. Holyoke, Swarthmore, and Radcliffe (which still existed back then.) Swarthmore was my first choice. Of those three, I got into Mt Holyoke, because my mom was an alum and I had alumni preference. I did graduate high school in California, and I considered those state universities as possible safety schools.

I really didn’t want to go to college at that point, though. I wanted to be an exchange student in France, which I did through the YFU program.

Then, when I was in France, I applied to Dartmouth and got in. At that point, you see, I had an exciting extracurricular activity. I was an exchange student. Yay! Dartmouth was really my first choice. I hadn’t applied there earlier, because I hadn’t realized that it had gone co-ed. Before that it wouldn’t accept women.

If your daughter doesn’t get into her preferred schools, maybe she should try being an exchange student as well. I thought it was a fabulous experience. I learned *so* much. Not only did I become fluent in French, but I saw a completely different family from my own and learned about a different culture. I came back much more mature and well-rounded.

Also, I went to an all girl’s high school in France. I felt that that was an emotionally unhealthy place, though I learned a lot there. I decided I definitely did not want to go to Mt. Holyoke, which was all female.

I wish more people would become exchange students. It’s going to be tricky with this COVID-19 situation, but, if that clears up, I definitely recommend it. Then, once she’s an exchange student, she can apply again, and probably get into a better school, at least that worked for me. Also, I think the world would be a better place if more people exposed themselves to multiple cultures.

Moreover, with another year under her belt, more maturity, and exposure to other cultures, she might be less snooty about state universities. She might even find that the university of California has some programs that private schools don’t offer.

You might point out to her that arrogant, snooty people generally don’t have many friends and are disliked in job environments.