I’ve been happily married for 41 years. Of course, I’ve been married for 45.
When my wife and I married I imagined continual bliss. A month in, reality appeared.
Some days we felt ecstatic in love. Some days, well not exactly.
Through the stresses of building businesses and nearly going bankrupt our relationship took hits.
Raising children, re-parenting elderly parents, dealing with personal losses all took their toll at times.
Occasionally I wondered, “Did I make a mistake? What happened to our love?”
I can imagine on more than a few occasions my wife wondered, “Who the hell is this person I married?”
She’s just too nice to say it.
But we just kept on. We both believed if we didn’t give up love would keep reappearing.
We expressed love even when we didn’t feel it.
We tried new things to spice up our romance.
We left the kids with grandma and escaped for romantic weekends.
Now our kids are grown so we go see them and have a romantic weekend.
We snuggle while watching a movie, hold hands while we walk, kiss slowly while going to sleep and well, you know.
Ultimately, we just refuse to let our marriage grow stale and die.
As well as, I’ve figured if I started over with someone new the excitement would die. And then I’d need to go through being trained up again.
I definitely couldn’t handle that.
Recently, we were having dinner in a small French restaurant on the coast. Candle light flickered on the painted walls. Soft music played. Quiet conversations blended.
Halfway through a bottle of zinfandel I held my wife’s hand and said, “You know, after all these years, I’m still glad I married you.”
She smiled and replied, “Well that’s convenient because I’m glad too.”
“And when I think of some I might have ended up with it terrifies me,” I went on.
She laughs, “Well, it all worked out.”
“So you’re stuck with me because I love you. Oh, and I can’t imagine going through being trained up again.”
She only smiles. She knows the truth of that so well.
Happy marriages are built by two people who simply will settle for nothing less.