For my experiences it all fell, until now, as a "hard work", let me explain.

I am a french girl and most of the relationship here -in France-(especially when you are young) it’s “send text to make sure you’re still alive, otherwise we live our life” and “women has to pay/I’m not paying for it”.

So guess my shock when all of my boyfriends and even just dates were paying for wherever we would go, they invited me and told me when I said “let’s split” : «no, I am the one who invited you so I’m paying» and this is pretty good because this is how I have always believe a date should go on.

But then most of them was really expecting a lot of texting and time together as they had said “that’s what Korean girls do” and for me to be very VERY nurturing, which being nurturing for both side in a relationship is totally normal but them, it just feels like me being a “substitute mother”.

For me it was really toxic (at least with the ones who has never travel outside the country), in a way that I didn’t feel very free, which my freedom and my time alone is essential to my wellbeing but other than that some were there for me, if I had any problems either personal or administrative they would be there to help me.

I actually never had met their family, only their friends, there is only one of them who’s family knows about me and his mother wasn’t happy at all and would openly insulted me when I was FaceTiming him, in Korean, which with most my boyfriends we always talked English since they wanted to better up themselves but I speak and understand Korean so guess my shock when I heard her insulting me, but well the relationship didn’t really lasted that long.

I got a very good memories with each of them, they were really open to all the differences in our cultures and with how much I am independent, it feels like both of us has grown and learn from each other.

After my actual boyfriend, who is also a Korean but he was born and raised in the US, is completely different from all of my exes who was born and raised in S.Korea, he got that "western mentality". I have met his family and everything goes pretty well, we are now close, just that at the beginning his father couldn’t really "trusted" me because we are from different "social classes" so he thought I was just "another gold digger" which I was NOT having it and respectfully told him my point of view and affirm myself, since that he like accepted me and we have a pretty good relationship, he has showed me another side of him, not the businessman but the person and his family is really protective in a good way over me, since at the beginning not many people in their circles were happy about me but then they had defended myself when I wasn’t even present, you know.

But I think it all depends on the individual, even though my experience and the experience of my friends and other expat’ that I had met along the way was really similar.