This was my first tattoo. I had gotten out of a mental hospital in March and had gone through two excruciating months of trying to get to the point where I felt like living. I found a tattoo similar to this on Pinterest and for the first time something sparked inside of me.

So I went at midnight with my fiance one evening to a reputable tattoo shop, and I laid down on the table with heavy metal music pounding through the room, and gazed up at walls of art, while the needle hummed. And for a single shining moment I remembered what living felt like. This tattoo is my reminder to be kind to myself, and to not let depression erase the beauty of life.

This was the second tattoo I got. I had been struggling with a lot of self harm thoughts, and I needed something to help with that. For me tattoos give the pain cutting does, without the fear (and subsequent shame) of other seeing the scars cutting can leave. Rather the beauty of a tattoo is that it becomes a permanent piece of art, and you become the canvas on which it is done.

I had been watching a lot of Bob's Burgers and had been drawn to Tina. She was so refreshingly real, and so true to herself. And it inspired me. So I got her quote “I am a strong, smart, sensual woman”, along with her as a reminder that I didn't need to cut, and that I could be loved for being myself. As a bonus, the tattoo covered up some of my scars and that was incredibly freeing.

I have always loved myths and found them in some ways to be the truest reflections of life. So I showed my tattoo artist a cauldron and asked him to design something around it. I told him of my love of myths, of the goddess Brigid, of magic. And he created this piece of artwork that exemplified my love of literature, of mythology, my spiritual path. The owl is connected to Athena the goddess of wisdom and to Brigid the goddess of creativity. The celtic tree is a reminder of how everything connects and how beautiful that is even in those moments when life is hard. For me this tattoo is a reminder to be magical in all senses of the word.

And this last one was an rather impulsive decision (meaning I only thought about it for a week). I just loved the tattoo and named him Lenny. I got him on Friday the 13th hence the 13 and he was a discount tattoo. I'm currently trying to figure out what story I can write him into because he is such a strange character. Anybody who tells you tattoos must have some great meaning doesn't understand that we give them meaning. Lenny has become a character for me and he's odd and quirky, but I originally got him just because I thought it looked interesting and I wanted too. I like the reminder to make impulsive choices sometimes, and that impulsivity can be beautiful.