I got my first tattoo at 18 and it is a symbol to represent the bond between my mother and I.

Turquoise ribbons are a symbol for many things, those I chose to represent are gynecological cancers and domestic abuse.

My mother went through hell and back with my father during her pregnancy and after my birth. She was beaten, starved, stalked, and terrified. She did not run away until her and my life was threatened. I never ever pass judgement on those stuck in a situation where domestic abuse is present. I'm aware of the sickening charm that presents itself and cycle of forgiveness and abuse people argue with themselves over before running away. I wish them strength they never knew they had, like my ma had when she ran away.

When I was in 11th grade my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and I watched her move through the stages in fear that she would never even get to see me graduate high school. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. The doctors told her at first that it was just stress, that there was no reason to worry about her missed periods. My mom was taking pregnancy tests at home and getting berated by my father because he thought the only reason she should need a pregnancy test was if she was cheating. I knew she never would. I knew it was something else.

Finally the news came that she had softball sized growth in her ovary. We knew it was something like that because if she laughed even a little she would pee herself. Like she was pregnant but really far along…And then we went to the hospital to have it removed. Hours we sat in that waiting room agonizing over her health. They told us in a few days they would know if it was benign or malignant.

I still remember that day like it was yesterday. We were at my grandparents house visiting, Christmas was the day before, my mom hears the phone ring, leaves the room to answer…

We left my grandparents house that night. They had told her the cancer has spread to other organs in her body and that she needed to come back and have a full hysterectomy immediately to prevent any more from spreading. My junior year of high school, I slept in hour or two long chunks. I could never get a full nights sleep. Or finish my homework. In chemistry class I cried to my teacher in front of the whole room when it was time to turn in my homework. ...