My birthday is April Fool’s Day. When I was around ten years old, my two brothers and I decided to pull a prank on my father (who was extremely self-centered and had an enormous ego.)

I had read that if you empty a sugar bowl and replace the sugar with salt and then watch carefully, some interesting reactions would ensue.

So my brothers and I did just that, laughing conspiratorially throughout the meal. My father asked us what we were laughing at.

“Nothing.”

As the meal went on, we continued to laugh. The more we laughed, the angrier my father became, until he just exploded at the dinner table.

He started to hit us. We were all crying. (One brother fell on the floor, which was his reflexive response to my father’s attacks. My father kicked him, yelling at him to stand up like a man.)

Afterwards, he made us sit in silence to finish our meal. We sniffled and choked down our food. Then came the birthday cupcakes, which we ate in silence.

We were silent as my mother served my father coffee.

We were silent as he put three heaping teaspoons of salt in his coffee.

He spit his coffee across the table.

Then we laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

And that was the “sweetest” revenge ever.