In my student days my girlfriend and I lived in an old lowrise apartment building (3 floors, 4 units per floor). We were on the second floor - below us were two elderly women (both in their late 70’s) and above us was this very strange guy who kept complaining to the super about us. Noise traveled between the floors and, if you really wanted to pay attention you could listen in on conversations from the unit below you.

Other tenants told us that the guy that lived above us was an absolute ass and had managed to get the previous tenants of our unit evicted (I later found out that they weren’t the first that he’d managed to get rid of). In any case, we knew the guy was listening to us so one night when I got really fed up with his antics I turned to my girlfriend, put my finger to my lips as in “keep quiet” and said “That’s it, I’m calling Tony”. Of course I didn’t pick up the phone. All I did was have my half of a pretend conversation.

Tony …

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Yeah it’s me

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remember I told you about that jerk that lives above me?

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This time I’ve had it. I’ll take you up on your offer.

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No. Nothing permanent.

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No. No. As long as gets the message

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Okay. Make you a deal. If it happens again …. that’s right

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He heads out for work at about 7:30 every morning. Drives a shitbox of an Olds ..

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Thanks guy. I owe you.

I never once raised my voice. Purely conversational level. My girlfriend had figured out what I was doing very early on and said “Can we trust Tony?” Answer “Yes. he owes me one”

For the record, I didn’t know a Tony but it sounded good because the big street gangs in the city were both based in the Italian neighborhoods.

Needless to say the guy tiptoed around and moved out shortly thereafter.