OK. Maybe get yourself a cup of coffee.

My abusive then-spouse decided to leave me, which I didn't mind, but his family was visiting from overseas, having a great time, partying, going on road trips, and inviting him.

They were horrified by his stories of what an American, awful, disobedient wife I was.

He was going to casinos with them, losing all our money.

I was pregnant (high risk, no less), on maternity leave from graduate school so no job, and had another infant at home.

One day he starts packing his $hit, tells me he can't take it anymore, he's leaving.

Fine, except:

• I had no money
• The rent was overdue
• We had impending disconnect notices from the phone and electric companies (there were no cellphones or social media back then, so pregnant and with an infant, I needed that phone, and of course, the electricity)
• He had promised to make payments that payday but instead he was off to another casino
• No groceries, food, diapers, etc.

So. As he's stacking his $hit in a corner of the living room, I tell him I'm going to the lobby to get the mail.

Instead I moved his car. I parked it a few blocks away, went upstairs with the mail, and waited for him to leave. He takes his suitcases, loads them all into the elevator, tells me I brought this on myself, and leaves in a huff.

• A few minutes later the intercom rings: "Do you remember where I parked my car?" No.
• He comes upstairs, all sweating and confused. Calls his brother. "Do you remember where I parked my car?" No. And even if he did, he couldn't read English, so wouldn't have known the street name, anyway.
• Calls the police. They arrive. He talks to them privately. Then they come in to talk to me.
• "We understand there are marital issues. Did you steal his car?"
• I hated being dodgy with the police. I simply stated, No. (I didn't steal it.)
• I told them my side of the story and they became more sympathetic to me. No food, no diapers, no money, pregnant, etc.
• The police told me to apply for WIC assistance, and lectured him.
• They take his report, warn him about his behavior, and leave.

Okay. So his was the car the visiting family was gonna use for their road trip.

So the road trip was canceled. All packed up with no place to go.

I decided to outsmart him. "Honey, since now there's no chance of you winning anything at the casino, maybe we should make the payments you promised the utilities so they won't cut us off."

Since he was stuck there now himself, he gave me the money.

Of course he begged to use my car, but I had never given him a key, and I told him the brakes were shaky and it cost too much to repair them.

For two months this !diot had no car and had to take cabs and buses to work. And the visiting family couldn't rent a car so they went home early.

Meanwhile I had applied for WIC, gotten a social worker, and spoke with the !diot's ultra religious boss who agreed it was best to give me the !diot's salary (he was paid in cash).

He was furious but I was protected by the religious community, and the social worker's home visits helped.

He realized he had to start acting like a human being, so he became much more agreeable to live with, but I wanted him out of my hair.

So one day I told him, "OMG, honey! I was driving around looking for parking, and I think I saw your car!"

We excitedly jump into my car and I drive him there. "Is that it?"

He was thrilled. To this day he thinks he parked it there after partying and couldn't remember.

We're divorced now (can I get a Hallelujah?) and the kids are grown. They know the whole story. But he's serving life now, so we're all estranged from him.