I have given birth 6 times. Dad was there the first time, and it was actually kind of annoying. It was nice to have company for The Long Wait part though. His MOM being there was even more annoying because she was very fearful, and had been unconscious when she had given birth herself. It was all very alarming to her, and she needed ME to use attention and emotional energy to soothe HER while I was giving birth. I thought it was good for HIM to be there, to be the first to see his own child… but giving birth is a very inward thing to do, and his presence made it a *bit* harder to pay attention to my own body.

Dad was there for the birth of his second child, and again, was a little distracting - but it was ok. HE needed to be there for HIM.

Circumstance prevented his being there for my other births. It was kinda nice. All I needed to do was concentrate on the job at hand. It was easier to keep my own state of mind together, less painful, and overall a less stressful experience. For 1 birth my other children were with me, and even that was ok. They were mysteriously quiet and self entertaining.

I think dads need to be there for themselves and their newborns, to love them instantly, to be a part in a way that improves family life down the road… I don’t think moms necessarily need them, unless perhaps they are especially anxious, and even then, only if dad is the most calming person. For some women that calming person might better be their sister or mother, or best friend - but those people don’t need to receive that new baby into their hearts.

Dads should be there *for the child*.