I’ve passed this question several times. It annoys me every time I see it and brings to mind sad thoughts. Every time.

Let me share one of these sad thoughts with you.

This man is my uncle, Jordan “Jorge” Thompson. This is one of my favorite pictures of him. He had taken a troop of Boy Scouts out to teach them how to fish and help them get their beltloops.

One of the boys only had the little purple fishing rod you see in the picture. He was embarrassed by it so Jordan switched fishing rods with this boy. He caught that fish, a muddy catfish we call them here, and was showing it to the boys when my aunt snapped this picture.

Jorge loved helping the boy scouts, he loved the outdoors, and he loved all things involving nature. He could tell you the common and scientific names of anything that grew or lived within 200 miles of here. He could tell you their habits, tracks, and where and how and when to hunt or observe them.

One of his great passions was passing that knowledge onto others. Many people here know how to feed themselves by hunting or fishing because of him. Many young men were helped in getting merit badges for the Boy Scouts.

In many ways, he provided me with my own father figure. I was my father’s unfavorite child until I was 20, and my step-dad was distant. My uncle was one of the few sources of positive masculinity I had.

Jordan had a job that wasn’t good for him: he was a guard at a high security prison. He tried to quit several times, but his wife and kids encouraged him to keep on, as well as his friends.

The stress began to wear on his health, both physical and mental. It began to wear on his relationships and he grew distant from his friends and family. Eventually it lead to a pending divorce and constant fighting with his wife.

On December 31, 2015, after a particularly nasty fight with his wife, my uncle went into the next room and shot himself.

I’m not saying, that your father will commit suicide, or that there will be a divorce if you push him into earning more for your comfort. But you are asking your father to sacrifice his life, his comfort, his relationships, his mind and his body to misery for you to be comfortable.

Why are these of less importance than your material comfort?

And consider this: how much of himself does he have left to give to work? If you bully him into keeping at his job, what happens when he runs out? How bad will it be? What might you lose in making your father miserable?

Please, be kind to your dad. Be thankful for the comfort he’s provided you so far, and take the chance you’ve been given to get to know him better. Because once that time is up, you don’t get any more.

Edit: I want to thank everybody for their kind words and thoughts about Jorge. I do appreciate them.