I went out with a Swedish exchange student while I lived in Canada. She also had a circle of Swedish, female friends via the university’s Scandinavian languages club, and I visited her in Uppsala, too.

During that time, I became convinced that I had to somehow move to Sweden and live there. I was so impressed by these people, and when I got to see the place itself… well, that’s history. I live in Sweden now.

How would I describe my dating experience… hm:

First and foremost, Swedish women are easy to approach and talk to. They have a high level of self confidence, and will never be scared by any man. So, you are conversing at eye level, from the word “go” - if you are a self confident guy at the right level, that is. Machos need not apply. Some of my Canadian friends were intimidated by my Swedish girlfriend and her female buddies, who could come across as a little too intelligent for comfort, and were clearly entirely independent.

When I met my girlfriend’s circle of friends in Sweden, that impression only solidified. She was a fraternity/ sorority girl, and we were surrounded by absolute alpha types, it seemed to me, many of them also women. It took me a while to understand that they weren’t “alpha types” as such, but that Swedish behaviour tends to come across as pretty steely, compared to German, Austrian, or Canadian standards, which were my standards at the time. One girl was a major in the armed forces, another one a member of the corps diplomatique. We (as in, my girlfriend and me) often got together in these kinds of fraternity settings, and it seemed she really liked that kind of formality.

It is easy to get into “higher circles” with Swedes, because the hierarchies are flat, and everyone does everything. Before you know it, you’re roasting marshmallows with a minister’s daughter and you’d never know.

Away from “public appearances,” privately, I have only the best to report. It was a relaxed, respectful, and warm experience without any of the immature quirks I often experienced with others. We never got into any arguments over anything, because we both respected each other’s preferences. When we broke up, it was in the most civilised manner. We both were fully cognisant that we were young and had different pathways in life, and much to explore yet. So, it was just a question of waving a friendly good bye one day.

As I am surrounded by female colleagues at work, I would think that mine was a fairly typical experience. It’s how they are.