One of the reasons I was apprehensive of marriage stem from an underlying fear that it won’t be a happy one. Growing up among traditional Indian families I couldn’t see many divorces happening back in the ‘90s, but I never seen a happy one. I have never came across a happy couple who enjoyed each others’ company for the sheer pleasure of it. They were bound to the comfort of their cocoon of marital habits. I didn’t want to have a life like that. So I told this man who was seemingly trying his best to make me believe that we could be different if I stop being all cynical about it.

“But I know you too will take me for granted once the mystery is over and I’m not my mother…I wouldn’t be okay being old for you and continue the relationship just because I have to”, I told him on several occasions. And every time he said, “I can never take you for granted.”

I smirked in vanity because I was this smarty-pants who knew all about what life and love is all about.

In the last 8 years he made me question my theory and I couldn’t be happier about it.

I think happy marriages come from unfettered compassion for each other and valuing each other’s existence in life. In a long companionship like marriage nasty fights will happen, blame games will be there too, but it’s our ability (and inclination to strive for it when it goes missing) to be in our partner’s shoes when life hits its bottom can save the day.

I don’t think I have any formula to increase love. I believe in THE connection, that magic when we meet the right person and don’t let him/her go away, I believe in choosing the right kind of life partner with whom we don’t feel the pressure to prove anything. If that part of the job is done truthfully, then love will never stop increasing.

So for me, secret for a happy marriage is not about applying lifehacks to please each other, because happiness builds up over the years, no matter what life brings to your plate, when we choose to be married to someone who worth it all.