The house I was living in was a main house and when you walked out the front door they had added a smaller little efficiency to the front. For the most part it was ok. But then this couple moved in. They would fight and drink all night, every night. I began to hatch a plan at 3am one night as I listened to the bellowing.
The house I resided in was attached to all the main property. I had our horses and dogs all fenced in. Behind this efficiency was also my property and it was a small fenced in area with a small barn. Perfect for my idea. I called my best friend and told her my thoughts. My timing was perfect.
The next day my friend showed up with two baby piglets. Cute and loud. Betty Boop, and Goldie Hawn! It worked like a charm. The pigs rutted and squealed as they grew over the next few weeks. Soon I was the proud neighbor of an empty efficiency.
My piggies grew strong and bigger. It was a perfect place for them and we all lived happily ever after. Well until the snow came and my feet got stuck in the muck with a pail of food. I was a single mom with two very young babies alone in the house. I tried hard to remove each foot but only sank deeper. Then it happened, Goldie Hawn bumped me. I swayed in the darkened night, back and forth. My feet stuck in the blackened mud up to mid calf. I fell on my back. My first thought, “Hannibal Lector”. I am in the middle of nowhere Montana. No one lives around me and I am stuck sinking deeper in the mud as my piggies squeal and climb all over me for the pail of food.
I climbed out in the frozen muddy muck pulling my feet out of my Wellies and headed for the gate.
The whole time all I could imagine were my poor babies in the house alone as their mom sank lower and lower with each piggie foot walking all over trying to eat. I got in the house covered in nasty pig muck and called the butcher up the road. It was late, cold and I smelled to high heaven.
The butcher nicely explained it wasn’t pork season. I said in a very clear threatening, god fearing tone. “Get your boys here in the morning and take care of these pigs, put them in your freezer and call me when it’s cutting time.” I think he knew, I meant business.
Yes, I was sad early the next morning when I heard those boys take care of my Betty and Goldie. But God help me I wasn’t getting eaten in the middle of winter because I was laying out there with a broken leg, stuck in the muck.
My friends laugh and I learned to tolerate the next renters. We ate well that winter. Don’t judge me, we were going to eat the piggies eventually, it’s a farm. But I think of this one thought as I had laid their envisioning man eating pigs. “Was this somehow Karma?.” I never bought pigs again.