When still living with my parents a few years ago, we moved to a new house. Not much parking, so we always made sure we took up as little as possible by losing our front lawn and replacing it with another parking space so both my parents’ cars were on their own property, and ensuring I always parked my car in front of these two, not blocking anyone else in any way.

Most neighbours did the same, and we all worked together to take up as little space as possible. All, that is, except for one guy.

I arrived home from work late one night to find that he’d parked half across my parents and half across next door - filling two spaces with his car. So, I had to park across the road. There were no restrictions, no houses across the road, so the spaces were free for all. This particular space, however, was opposite his house.

I came out the next morning to find a note glued to my windscreen, full of spelling and grammar errors, declaring that he “didnt want to look out at my carr”, and I “have to be mindfull of the fact” that he “couldnt get the other carr off my drive with That there”. (sic)

His other car was a tiny thing, a Ford Ka. There’s no way this was anything other than a tantrum on his part. I carefully removed the note with a wallpaper scraper in order to keep it as intact as possible, and went in to show my mum.

Her first act was to contact the chap’s soon to be ex wife, who’d left about a year earlier but who was still in contact with various neighbours in the close, including Mum. The woman confirmed her ex, who was quite unbelievably an English teacher, had no learning difficulties, no dyslexia or any language issues - and in fact, in her words, “he’s just a twat.”

Knowing this, I had no qualms over taking a red pen, correcting every spelling and grammar issue (and there were plenty of issues!), before signing the note “3/10. See me.”

This was then glued to HIS windscreen (with pritt stick, I’m not a complete savage!), along with a second note pointing out that if he couldn’t manage to get a tiny car off a large driveway, we would be very happy to contact the DVLA on his behalf to report that he was unsafe continuing to drive.

Quite sad watching a grown man run and hide every time I stepped outside the house…