Back somewhere around 2006 when offshoring was all the rage the company I worked for decided to outsource the software we were working on to Thailand.

They announced that we were being let go along with a severance package that actually wasn’t terrible. It gave me enough time to be reasonably comfortable I would find another job. They also specifically needed me to stick around to, drum roll, train my replacements. The software stack was difficult, and they didn’t feel they could transition it successfully without my assistance. So on top of my severance they offered me a large retention bonus to stick around and do the training.

About a month into that process the company decided they needed me and wanted me to stick around after all.

“Nah I’m good I’ll take the severance and retention thanks”

Turns out they felt they really needed me for reasons that to be honest I didn’t understand. They really didn’t have a choice in the matter since everything was in writing and the date was coming up. So I told them sure I’ll stay, but I’m keeping the severance and retention bonus as agreed.

The severance was a bridge too far for them, but they did agree to let me keep the retention bonus which was substantial, something like 30–40% of my salary. I do wonder if I had held firm if they would have given me all of it. That was a bit hard to do at the time because the software world was different then. You wouldn’t have 6 job offers in your lap within weeks.

In any case I was fired, didn’t lose my job, and got a huge pile of money for basically nothing. I loved that the whole fire someone and make them train their replacement trope backfired spectacularly, and I was the beneficiary.

It was still a terrible company and I left a few years later, but not without my parting gift. Thanks guys!