Oh man, you’re going to love this one!
I walk up to the front door of this house with the pizza and knock.
The gal who ordered the pizza opens the door halfway- I can see her whole body except for her left arm which is behind the door on the inside edge of the door.
Picture it: We’ve all answered the door with one hand and pulled it open as far as our shoulder, the hand on the door knob, so the arm is behind the door, right? Got it?
- This being a large pizza, lot’s of stuff on it, and being pretty heavy, I say to the woman “You might want to use two hands, this thing’s pretty heavy.”
- She opens the door all the way and has no arm below the elbow.
Speechless, I hand over the pizza and slink back to my car feeling like the World’s #1 Schmuck.
After telling this story to several friends over the following few months, one of them said “Wait a minute. Was this house over on Sunset Drive, by the park?”
“Yeah, that’s the one”, I said.
“Oh man, that’s Linda, she lost her arm as a kid and has been doing sh_t like that for years, just to screw with people. She probably laughed her ass off as you walked away.”
Not too long after that I saw Linda in a local tavern, walked up to her and asked if I could join her. After sitting down I said, “I got a bone to pick with you.”
We had a couple of drinks together and had a few laughs.
Happy ending., but the night it happened, I just wanted to crawl under a rock.