What is the sweetest revenge you’ve ever taken?

I believe I told this story before, but it fits here pretty good. The whole episode was short, sweet and with very little interaction. This was back in the 80’s and I was going to pay a utility bill. As I pulled up to back into a parallel parking along the curb a car nosed into the space behind me. So I just got beat out of a space, but in B.C. if I now back into him it is actually his fault. So while I am thinking should I make believe I didn’t see him and use my checker plate bumper on this grill or not, the guy in the pick up in front of the space was watching and pulls up enough for me to back in.

Now once I get into the space I back up as far as I can as to not block the good Samaritan in front of me and leave as little room as possible for the Asshat behind me. Thanking the guy in front I head for the store to pay my utility bills while Mr. Asshat’s girlfriend or wife exits the car and heads to another store up the street. After paying the bills I walk back to my truck, but stop at Asshats car window and ask if he didn’t notice that I was backing into the space that he took. He evidently does not want to discuss it and tells me to F-off. Rather than argue I just say, F-off? Okay sure I’ll F-off”.

There happens to be a fast food restaurant right there and it is conveniently right around lunch time. So having sized up the situation with him having only inches in front and in back of his vehicle I decide it’s a good time for lunch. I grab myself some lunch and a seat near the front window, just in time to see his significant other return to the vehicle. Now we wait for show time! As he starts to try and extricate himself from the parking space and make as little as possible progress the argument starts. The view is great, but I really wish I could hear as well because they both seem to be getting angrier as things go on. Finally the female who is now quite enraged gets out while screaming through the open door with him screaming back. She storms off to where I don’t know, but opposite from whence she came. So Mr. Asshat gives it another valiant try for about ten more minutes before finally giving up and leaving in the same direction as his female counterpart.

Oh well the shows over I guess so I walk out to my pickup and drive off wishing I had heard the conversation and had been able to share the experience with someone. Well at least I got to share it on Quora.