I could probably come up with a lot of stuff, but this morning was pretty damn satisfying. At 7:30 AM, I was rudely awakened 15 minutes before my alarm by what sounded like someone shouting in our alley. Someone shouting in the alley isn’t exactly a rare occurrence, so I just pulled a pillow over my head and hoped it would stop soon and I could eke out another 15 minutes of sleep. After a few minutes, it became clear this was no “random person yelling for no reason at nothing in particular,” and I got out of bed, dressed, and went to find the source of the noise. It turns out the store on the corner of our block was having a promotion for their loyalty program, and had brought in people with microphones and an amplifier to shout at anyone passing by to sign up.

When I walked up, they boomed into their mics “and here we have someone eager to sign up for our loyalty program! What’s your name, sweetie?” Into the mic I said: “Can I see your sound system permit? You need one to amplify sound for commercial purposes.” Them: “Oh, we have a spoil-sport here! What are you going to do now?” Two calls, three emails, and 20 minutes later, I had our police district Commander telling them to shut the sound system off.

As they started to pack up the sound system, I walked up and said “and that’s what you get for waking me up before my alarm.” They may have been displeased, but they probably won’t try it again without the proper permits (which wouldn’t have allowed them to amplify sound for a commercial promotion before 9 AM that close to a residential area).