Keep on truckin’; boxtruckin’, that is!

My former neighbors (Oh, god! If there was ever a couple who needed to enter into a murder-suicide pact!) and I each had our own drive way that butted up together; enough for two cars to park side by side. Granted, it was somewhat tight on that portion of our driveways that was situated between the two houses but completely negotiable to even the casual driver.

My neighbor’s wife believed it was too tight in this location for her to proceed past a car that was parked fully on my driveway and complained about it. Being a new neighbor and wanting to get along, my wife and I avoided parking in this area even at our own inconvenience. I also informed family members and recurring guests to do the same.

However, when I had uninformed visitors come over to my house and park in the “sensitive“ area, my neighbor would come out and start yelling at my guests. Because she had a delusional take on the width of the driveway, she assumed everybody else had her same irrational perspective. This was not the case though. No one ever thought that they would impede the flow of my neighbor’s traffic in and out of their own driveway. So they never gave it any thought.

Again, trying to be accommodating, I told my neighbor that it was impolite to confront my guests about where they parked their car. I asked that she and her family members, if they saw a car parked in this area, to come and get me (Or another in my family if I was absent) and I will take care of it. She argued with me telling me that it should be readily apparent that anybody parking in this section of my driveway would block any cars proceeding in and out on their driveway. So apparent (in her unreasonable brain) she said her confrontations were appropriate.

I told her she was 100% wrong (but I still wanted neighborly harmony) and reiterated that she only talk to me; never again to say anything to my guests. I told her in no uncertain terms that if she did not comply with my simple request, I will buy an additional car and make that area of my driveway its permanent home; never to be moved. Well, it happened again (not surprised) and I made good on my promise to take the offensive.

I planned to purchase a beater from a junk yard but a friend of mine (just as outraged as I was) had an old box truck he said I could have as long as I needed it. I fell in love with it! It was big and intimidating yet within regulations for width and more importantly, totally fit within the boundaries of my drive way, albeit barely.

My neighbors never said anything to me because they knew why it was there. They tried a counter move by parking adjacent to the truck when one of them was home but it was a move I anticipated. Although inconvenient, I had to move the truck every now and again to egress my driveway. However, more times than not, my neighbors were not home and all we had to do was swing around the truck on their driveway (as any experienced driver could do) to get In or out. That truck was there to stay until I saw a white flag.

Besides changing their parking behavior, they called the police. However after discussing it with the police (and knowing they could not do anything anyway) they gave me a wink and a smile translating to, “More power to you!”

The neighbors had their overly-sized son try to intimidate me but I told him to do his worst and go pound salt. They complained to the city (various departments) but there was nothing that the city could do except try to convince me to come up with an amicable solution. Again, when they heard my side of the story, the response was just about the same as the police accompanied with a required, but weak, “Well, we hope you would reconsider.”

The white flag came out about six weeks after the truck arrived. I agreed to remove the box truck if and only if I was promised that I would never hear a complaint regarding a car parked anywhere on my drive way. Moreover, not one comment to any visitor; I didn’t care if it was a Jehovah Witness or an Amway sales person. No one was to be addressed regarding where they parked on my drive. I promised them that if they did not abide, the next vehicle would be a fifth wheel with its own address.