A few years ago, I was in a relation with my then boyfriend. He was a little dominant in our relation and since I was in my late teens and this was my first relationship, I was more submissive to the decisions he takes. First it was very small things like, no you are not supposed to go out without me with your guy friends and then no to watching series he doesnt like and to watch matches he likes and silly stuff like that. I was not that close to my friends and I don't watch much of TV programs anyway, so I was kinda ok with it. Now next comes a series of other conditions. No you should not work in private companies and no you should not organise that particular program because you can't spend time with me. (The program we had to organise was in our college and he was co-organiser and his then ex was also a co-organiser but then I should not). By now I was a little fed up with this charade but then kept quiet.

The final blow comes when I get a GATE ranking to study in one of the premier institutes in India and he says, my parents dont let girls in the family work. Why spend that much time in studies when you can't work anyway. So rather start earning in some government office so that we can have some money once we marry and then you can drop your job and stay at home.

You have to understand that studying in the institute was a dream of not only mine but also my parents. I was in a dilemma when he threatened to break up with me if I go for postgraduate education. I have had enough and broke up with him.

It fueled my desire to work harder and achieve more and two years later I met this wonderful understanding person who totally got me. He knew what happened in my previous relation, gave me the space to come out of that pain and fall in love all over again.

Coming to the passive aggressive part. My ex, after three years wanted me back and came asking for me to get back with him but I don’t give a second glance and introduce my current boyfriend to him.

P.S.: He still wants me back to be in a submissive role but not let me live the way I want my life to be. He didn't believe that I could ‘cheat on him’ by falling in love with another guy and worst of all, he ended marrying a girl 10 years younger to him.

Chose anonymity so as not to hurt my ex’s family and wife.