As a vegan, I joke that we must certainly be the world’s most hated community, ever.

I’m not wrong. Besides actual criminals, I’m convinced that vegans are the most disliked ‘open’ minority group in the world.

But this (short) post - I aim to keep it short and eventually write a more in-depth article on this subject at some (indeterminate) future date - is not about veganism.

The group I’m about to talk about aren't even criminals (not exactly, anyway); although the world treats and considers them as such… and they haven't even done anything wrong (not exactly, anyway).

Unlike vegans, who take a moral position on a particular issue, the majority of individuals from this group aren’t going to be vocal about their identity.

Just identifying as being a member of this group will have you ostracised by your friends, family and peers quicker than you can say the word itself.

Sure, vegans may feel uncomfortable around family and friend who don’t share their ethics… but there’s no shame in what they believe… yet, the people I’m discussing here are generally deeply ashamed about who they are.

Over the course of history, many people were discriminated against, ostracised and even killed because of their affiliation with a specific group or community.

For the longest time, jews, blacks, gays and women (among others) were treated so poorly, we can’t even begin to imagine living in that sort of world anymore (let alone live as the person being persecuted for something as trivial as possessing the wrong brand of skin colour).

The problem, however, with the group I’m about to discuss, is although there is no logical, rational and reasonable ground upon which jews, blacks, gays and women (among others) should be persecuted, a case however can be made with this particular group.

Much to the chagrin of homosexuals, this particular group I'm about to discuss more closely parallels sexual orientation than it does biological sex or race.

It also differs from LGBTQ in a few very important ways as well, as I will discuss further below.

The group I am referring to is pedophiles (and we can lump all the pedophilia sub-categories in there and zoophilia too, for the purpose of this post).

I can say, without a doubt, pedophiles are definitely THE most hated in the world... without a doubt.

Let us first address the differences, and discuss why pedophilia is distinct from sexual orientation.

For one, homosexuals and heterosexuals exist as binary-opposites as it relates to sexual orientation (attraction towards one or the other sex / gender relative to one's own sex / gender).

Whereas, and in contrast, pedophilia is not sexual orientation in the same way. It is sexual attraction by a major (legal adult) towards a minor (prepubescent child / adolescent).

It is also uniquely one-sided...

While homosexuals and heterosexuals have an attraction to either the same or opposite sex / gender, acting on this attraction is necessarily mutual (a homosexual / heterosexual relationship is formed between two consenting adults).

Whereas, pedophilia and zoophilia is necessarily a one way attraction and can never be reciprocated (even if the child or animal was somehow also sexually attracted to the adult in question).

Am I making any sense so far?

And this brings me to my second point... that children, animals and the mentally impaired lack sufficient capacity to consent to sexual intercourse or even a romantic relationship.

Legally, this concept even extends to sexual / romantic relationships between kids of similar ages (although, the law doesn't take it nearly as seriously as when there is a clear child-adult age disparity).

In South Africa (and a few other countries around the world), the precise turning point is 16 (also known as 'the age of consent').

In other words, the further each sexual partner is from the age of consent (e.g., the child being 6 and the adult being 26, to take it to extremes, with 10 years either way), the more culpable will the adult be regarded in the eyes of the law (especially since children under 7 are regarded as completely incapable of making independent decisions for their lives).

However, as I mentioned upfront, pedophiles and zoophiles are not legally culpable (as mere attraction does not a criminal make)... but, should someone act on their desires, they will be charged with the criminal offences of statutory rape (children and mentally handicapped persons) or bestiality (animals).

Unlike ordinary rape, where force and lack of consent needs to be specifically pleaded and proven by the prosecution, this is not a requirement in order to be successfully convicted on charges of statutory rape.

All that needs to be shown to convict an adult for the crime of statutory rape is that said adult had sexual intercourse with a person below the age of consent.

Essentially, I am in no way defending those who act on their desires in this regard, but I would now like to highlight the similarities between pedophiles and homosexuals *I say, bracing for impact*.

I know, I know... homosexuals despise being lumped anywhere near the pedophile camp... particularly because conservatives love to use the Slippery Slope fallacy to try criminalize homosexuality (i.e., they claim that homosexuality naturally leads to pedophilia; ergo, if we allow same-sex partners to act on their desires, it is only a matter of time before we use the same logic to allow pedophiles to act on their desires).

However, psychologists and other medical professionals all agree that children are unreservedly incapable of the consent required to engage in such activities... and adults are also in a uniquely coercive position of power... so the same logic simply cannot be extended to argue for the legalisation of pedophilia.

However, many pedophiles (also known as 'non-offending pedophiles' or ‘virtuous pedophiles’) are not sexual predators, nor do they sexually molest children.

Listen, most people are actually good at heart and don’t live their lives with the express purpose of wanting to hurt others...

We are all born with a unique set of challenges, desires, attractions, etc., and some people's challenges, desires, attractions, etc. would not be well-received by the majority of society, if such idiosyncrasies were ever revealed or disclosed (a predicament in which those in the LGBTQ community often find themselves and with which they too are uncomfortably familiar).

As a life coach, I have had a few clients open up to me about their 'kinks', 'preferences' and 'attractions' and how profoundly ashamed they are of themselves for feeling the way they do.

And, as an attorney, I have also been involved in cases where I’ve been privy to testimonies submitted by those accused of statutory rape (most of whom didn’t actually engage in sexual activity with any of the children involved).

(obviously, for both, professional privilege prevents me from revealing their identities).

Like homosexuals, they claim (and I'm inclined to believe them) that they did not choose the attractions they have; they were, as they say, 'born this way'.

Despite trying everything in their power, they just don't feel anything for people over a certain age (which age of attraction also differs from person to person).

They're basically consigned to a monk-like asexual existence. As stated in the short clip I’ve included above, some would even opt for 'chemical castration':

"A lot of people who are attracted to something [upon which] they could not [act] would rather live a life without a sex-drive, than with a sex-drive which they would have to spend every minute of every day actively suppressing."

To put things in perspective, expecting a pedophile to be attracted to or engage in sexual / romantic relations with an adult is akin to expecting a homosexual to be attracted to or engage in sexual / romantic relations with the opposite sex / gender (and vice versa for heterosexuals).

If you are LGBTQ+, you know more than most how it feels to be who you know you are and then be told by the world you should be something else.

It is on a whole other level if you are a pedophile, as almost everyone will brand you as sick, depraved, twisted and disgusting.

Even prisoners (murderers, rapists etc.) will single out a convicted child sex-offender and often torture, rape and kill them because of it (a fate suffered by pedophiles more regularly than any other convicted criminal).

They are treated this way by other inmates because pedophiles are considered 'the scum of the earth'… even by dangerous psychopaths (although, I'm inclined to believe that dangerous psychopaths use this fact as an excuse and justification to act on their own violent impulses... because everyone knows that killing a pedophile will lead to minimal repercussions... many even get lauded for doing so).

Why? Because the public opinion of pedophiles is so excessively vitriolic, that most people don't even consider them a member of the human race anymore.

[And, side note, talking about psychopaths, we can apply the same train of thought to them as well (that 'they are born a certain way, while also understanding that allowing them to act on their desires would cause more harm to society than could reasonably be justified by one's right to autonomy and freedom of choice')... a post for another day, perhaps.]

As for the LGBTQ community… don't worry; we are well within our rights to act on our orientation / identity etc. and pedophiles understand very well that, to act on theirs, would be immoral and comes with a whole host of negative real-world consequences.

Pedophiles aren’t a legally-protected sexual-minority group - unlike those who identify as LGBTQ+ - due to the consequences of acting out their sexual preference and also due to the one-directional nature of the attraction... even in instances where the child asserts that the feeling was mutual / consensual... hence pedophile's justified non-inclusion within the LGBTQ+ community.

But, I have also seen (first-hand) the humans behind the label society has given them, and I urge all of us to seriously consider how our actions or the words that we use can cause the same damage we have witnessed in the LGBTQ community (self-loathing, self-harm, psychological trauma and even suicide).

Be cautious of what you say and how you say it, because someone close to you might be a pedophile themselves... and, instead of reaching out for help and support as they battle with who they are, they could end up engaging in dangerous or harmful behaviour.

I truly empathise with people on both sides of this argument.

Many will claim that people like myself are trying to normalise sexual attraction towards children... but surely we can understand that it doesn’t work that way.

If we continue to sweep this issue under the rug, all that will do is perpetuate the problem indefinitely, because law enforcement does nothing if we’ve already told pedophiles that we don’t want them breathing the same air as us.

We (LGBTQ+) are so worried (and perhaps rightly so) of being 'painted with the same brush' or losing all the progress we've made to get to where we are, that we would allow our panic to let us lose sight of the human element in all of this... to lose our empathy for someone who has no more choice in any of this than you do being gay, lesbian, trans, black, jewish, female etc.

We are only able to see things one way and forget that these people need just as much compassion as we do; probably even more so... because, unlike you and me, they are legally forbidden from acting on their desires (desires no more in their control than same-sex attraction is for me)... and most of them know this; most of them know, that to give in to temptation would not only be illegal, but also morally reprehensible.

Those identifying as LGBTQ+ should understand (more than most) what it feels like to be hated by society.

Go back even 100 years and the freedoms we know and enjoy today would have been inconceivable.

We would be forced to live our entire lives practically 'in the closet' and literally keep who we are a secret from those closest to us out of fear of being arrested, attacked or killed.

And someone doesn't even need to be hated, ostracised, ridiculed or persecuted themselves in order to feel completely alone and lost in this world... they just need to realise that they would be if they ever were to open up about who they really are.

And when you are mentally and emotionally isolated from society in this, such a profound way... it's as though your entire world is crumbling down around you.

It is vicious and scary and sinister... the way something like this can, in and of itself, completely separate and exclude someone from this world, make them feel like an alien in their own home and ensure that they utterly hate themselves for who they are.

We should surely empathise with the psychological trauma this can have on a person's life, right?

Being a pedophile is to live a very difficult and tragic existence.

As one of my clients (an open pedophile) explained:

"I have not only been told 'you should kill yourself' on more occasions than anyone should have to hear... but when it comes from everyone around you - from those you would expect should understand what you are going through, but don't - this is a special kind of anguish I would not ever wish on my absolute worst enemy. You quickly become convinced that those around you would genuinely celebrate your death... so what is really stopping you from killing yourself? What is actually preventing you from doing something worse? Why not just become the monster people already think you are?"

Take from that what you will...

All I know is this... the most dangerous people I've ever met in my life - otherwise good, decent people - were those who had simply become convinced that they had nothing left to lose...