1. Never spank or yell at them. Corporal punishment has been proven to be detrimental in the emotional and intellectual development of children. It's not "like" child abuse, it is child abuse.
2. Won't feed them unhealthy food. I don't see what the point is in training my kids to be the next generation of McZombies. It makes no sense to me. There is nothing positive about eating fast food other than to create momentary gratification while lining the pockets of money hungry corporations. Then you're left with high blood pressure and cancer - that doesn't sound right to me.
3. Not to just expect independence but to encourage it. During my childhood my parents did pretty much everything for me, never allotting me growing latitude in making my own decisions and doing things on my own. For example, I could never choose what clothes I could wear, never go out on my own, and could never speak for myself. My parents bought everything for me and I never had to work for anything. This has left me with little confidence and a preconceived dependence on my parents. Now they expect me to have the desire to do things on my own, but why should I when they've done everything for me so far?
4. Never reprove failure. Failure is a good thing, not a bad thing. The public school system in America doesn't reflect this, but it's true. Failure is the only way to achieve success and if parents don't instill this in their children then it only makes it harder for their children to face their failures and be ashamed of it.
5. Talk about sex and sexuality. A child is going to have sex at some point in her life, and before that is going to start having sexual feelings, so it's important to teach them about it as soon as possible to avoid confusion. They also have to know that their body is their own and to not be ashamed of it. If they are attracted to the opposite sex, the same, or both, it's perfectly fine and it's nothing to be ashamed of. My parents never gave me this talk and I didn't fully understand sex until very late in my childhood. I was also very homophobic and self-hating because of the fact that I didn't understand why I was gay.
6. Sit with my family. I can't believe this has to be said. In my family, the kids sit in the kitchen to eat while parents sit in the living room. There's a wall separating the rooms and the living room has a TV in it that my parents could enjoy. There was never any communication between the parents and kids during one of the most opportunistic times to do so. There should always be a time out of the day for family time. During my childhood I've never had a "real" conversation with my parents - ever. It's always small talk or talk about things that don't matter. This has left a rift between me and my parents, and an uncomfortablness that I feel when I'm with them.
Me, my brother, and sister always feel uneasy when at least one of my parents are in the same room. We can never be....ourselves. We keep ourselves trapped inside our rooms away from our parents. I believe this could be one of the reasons.
7. I will never speak negatively about my kids. I can remember coming home from school, pressing my ear against the door, and hearing my father yelling at my mother about everything he disliked about me. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Unlike my father, I was very socially awkward, and he was especially critical of that. He was using language that I only imagined he could use, and it went on for a while. This tore me apart. After a stressful, anxiety-filled day at school, I have to come home to my father attacking me behind my back to my mother. And my mother just had to sit there and listen, because my father is like an autonomous ruler of the house, nobody questions him.
This happened multiple times. Sometimes it would take almost a half hour to muster up the courage to come inside and act like I didn't hear anything. I would never do this to anyone, especially my children, even if I'm certain they aren't around. There's nothing my own children can do to make me act like I hate them. If I'm concerned about their mental well being I would take them to therapy, not make fun of them.