Important safety tip:
I hate it when people tailgate me. I pull over and let them by mostly, try not to do any road rage /brake job crap etc. Don't flip people off, don't yell..remain calm . If a kid/animal/other driver causes me to need to do evasive maneuvers/ sudden braking, there is no way they won't hit me so I really try to keep a clear area around me.
Cruising with my son , sunny day, top down, in my 1991 vintage BMW 325ic down Blackstrap hi recently, speed limit 35 , rolling 40ish, lot of cops in Falmouth.
Tailgater climbing my butt. Really pissing me off, plenty of room to pass, no traffic, just about to flip a blinker on, pull right and let them by.
What is this I spy in the road ahead? Looks like a " Teachable moment" to moi.
overstuffed black Hefty bag of trash laying in my lane.
Son in passenger seat, going to get drivers license soon.
HMMMMMM...guy behind me really getting on my nerves.
Bimmer I'm driving has a " sport suspension". This means I ripped the wheels, brakes, tires, shocks, struts, and springs off, and replaced them with $2000 worth of German competition crap directly from the full race version of this car, the legendary BMW E30 M3, first generation. Think German Autobahn/racetrack/autocross sports car.
This car will change lanes so fast it will suck your eyeballs out of their sockets.
" Jake, look at this idiot tailgating me, hate this stuff, no time to react, he will hit us if I need to stop fast for any reason. Watch this...."
If you have hung around with me at all you know that if you ever hear the words " Watch this" coming out of my mouth, HOLD ON!! The evil twin is in the room. Probably a good time to step back if possible, or leave, or put your jacket over your head.
Continued at my 40 mph cruise, steady as she goes, in my lane, dipshit behind me can't see the trash bag as he is busy inspecting my muffler 1/2 car length behind me and facebooking with his homies.
Run right up the the big ol' black bag of who-knows-what ( I have been known to throw away anvils, safes, old brake rotors, outboard motors). Like about 4 feet from it.
Jake seems to be braced for impact and have 2 hands on the " Oh Jesus handle" ( Poor child knows me well and heard the words " Watch this".)
I give the wheel a quick flick into the passing lane, snap roll the car on/off its springs and back into our lane ( Rally driving term for this is " Swedish Flick" , made famous by SAAB driver, Eric Caarlson of Monte Carlo Rally fame). It is often used to bounce the car and set it up for a parking brake 180 turn, ( a maneuver best done in rental cars, especially on snow/ice, but that is another story)
Whole move took less than a second.
A fast driving reaction time is about 2 seconds.
If you were paying attention and ready.
Remember the " 2 second following rule" from defensive driving class? It is a good rule to live by. ( Jake tells me they are teaching 4 seconds now)
The car takes this all in stride. My hapless tailgater/object of my ire/victim of my sadistic streak on the other hand, was caught napping on watch.
Rearview mirror; BA-BAM!!! Cloud of trash EXPLODES!! Over the roof, cascading over the windshield, cloud of paper goods flying in the air, brakes coming on! I think they are fully awake now . Probably changing their shorts. COOOOOLEST!
Glad the bag was not filled with surplus bowling balls! ( would have really felt bad had someone gotten killed, especially if It was us getting rear ended by this boob). He ( or she) will probably follow a little farther back for a few days at least. Bet they though I was a jerk.
We were laughing so hard tears were streaming.
Ahhh parenting. Poor Jake, what a role model.
Be careful out there.
Dave